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Newcastle United vs West Ham United match preview and match banter!

August 24th, 2013 | 119 Comments |

Newcastle United v West Ham United.
Pardew on probation.
Venue: St James’ Park, Newcastle.
Date: Sat 24th Aug, 2013.
Kick off: 3.00pm.
Referee: Phil Dowd (Staffs).
UK TV: None.

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to our “match banter” for today’s first home fixture of the Premier League season, which sees the Magpies taking on Fat Sam’s West Ham.

Pardew on probation.

In Alan Pardew’s last 12 competitive games with Newcastle United, his record is Won 2, Drawn 3, Lost 7, Goals For 7, Goals against 26. With a record like that, the sharks should be circling, and I don’t mean the loan shark from Wronga, who, incidentally, will be staging their first Wronga “experience” at sunny St James’ Park today. One of their new half time pursuits for this season is called “Straight walking football,” where “two fans will race head to head through a course packed with obstacles to test their balance and skill. Whoever keeps their cool and finishes past Teenie and Tynie will take home £150″ (quote from the Hearts website). Think I’ll give that a miss next time I’m at St James’ Park. (more…)