Newcastle go-al bananas against pretty dire Darlo! [updated with match highlights and post match interview]

Posted on July 18th, 2009 | 21 Comments |

A more palatable form of happy slapping from Joey
A more palatable form of happy slapping from Joey
A Shola juggle and finish, a cameo from veteran Dean Windass, a terrible away strip, a rare goal from Jonas Guiterrez and seven goals from the boys in yellow. This one had almost everything. No wonder the travelling contingent thought it was “just like watching Brazil”.

Newcastle ran out 7-2 winners at a sparsely populated Northern Echo Arena but the harsh reality of it, is that Darlington were distinctly average and Newcastle barely got out of second gear to roll them over.

My day started by scrapping around looking for some company to take to the game with me. Alas, due to last minute organising I had no takers, so made the short but lonely trip down the A1 from Bowburn. Nonetheless, I was looking forward to this and as I turned on the multi-disc changer in the car and I came across The Stone Roses, I started to enjoy myself.

Parking up opposite the Copper Beech pub I hurried down Neasham Road anxious to get to the ticket office, after warnings of queues for ‘tickets on the day’. I needn’t have worried, as they were relatively small queues. Standing in line, I managed to duck out of an interview for Look North but couldn’t get out of camera shot when they asked the guy in front. I hope my hair looked ok. However, due to some bad advertising and organisation, a number of Mags managed to stand in what looked like a generic ticket queue, only to be told after 15 mins they wouldn’t sell us away tickets!! A short irritable while later I had my North Stand ticket in hand and followed some black and whites round to the turnstiles.

The Northern Echo Arena is like many of the conservative new stadia and is hardly breathtaking but looks smart enough. In front of me, was the South Stand, home to a spattering of home fans, corporate boxes and media. To the right is the West Stand where the more vocal (hardcore?) home fans are housed. They were making a bit of noise early on. To the left, the East Stand was empty. Looking around the South Stand there must have been roughly 3,500 Mags in a crowd of what was announced as 6698. As expected, the travelling contingent were noisy from the off with renditions of “Oh Shola Ameobi” proving popular along with the usual chants.

Having arrived just in time, I hurriedly checked the starting eleven (subsequent ratings in brackets):

Krul (7), R Taylor (6), Beye (7), S Taylor (7), Kadar (6), Smith (7), Nolan (6), Barton (7), Duff (7), LuaLua (7), Ameobi(8).


Subs: Coloccini (6), Enrique (8), Guthrie (7), Jonas (7), Xisco (5), Butt (6), Forster (6), Carroll (7), Donaldson (7).

I was a bit sceptical about Nolan being the link player and as the first few minutes got underway it got progressively worse as the pedestrian pace wasn’t helped by a sticky pitch (which was quite long) and a dull ball. The lack of fluency in passing looking even more laboured. However, after a free-kick on the edge of the box went straight into the hands of Krul, we broke and Barton laid on Duff to finish neatly to make it 1-0.

That lead wasn’t to last very long as Kadar lazily stuck out a foot as a Darlington played dropped a shoulder and jinked to his right in the box. Veteran striker Dean Windass didn’t miss from the spot and the score was level. The play was a bit pedestrian again although Lua Lua impressed and was trying to get things going. Soon enough Joey Barton forced the issue on the edge of the box and although was a little fortunate with a ricochete, he followed the ball up and cut it back well for Nolan to sidefoot from close range.

By this stage, Ameobi had flattered to deceive again and looked like he was going through the motions despite the vocal support of the away fans and the popular “Oh Shola Ameobi” song. His relatively lacklustre first quarter prompted the away fans to chant “If Shola scores we’re on the pitch”. He duly scored from inside the box, finishing clinically. One fan followed up on his promise and having tested the turf was duly escorted out to a chorus of boos and jeers. The away end responded with increased volume on their new favourite song and still more was to come from the player as Ameobi sprang into life and threw his considerably large frame around. He initially bulldozed his way through the central defenders but then his clever feet did the rest, controlling and juggling the ball over a defender and holding off a challenge to finish cutely to make it 4-1.

Another cheeky chap makes his entrance onto the field and having been collared, then shrugs off the challenge of the jobsworth Lee Dixon look-a-like head steward and makes a bolt for it, evading three challenges from the men in bibs. He turns to us to celebrate and then abruptly his path is blocked by a 6ft 3 copper. He drops his shoulder and thinks about this next challenge and then thinks better of it and is on his way with PC JustDoingHisJob.
However, the lads will dine on that for weeks and months with their mates though. Worth it I’d say.

The steward got stick for the remainder and although he was smug and condescending I like to think in his quieter moments his expression told us he wasn’t getting paid enough for that sh*t.

Proper craic for a change.

In the 2nd half, Hughton brought on Coloccini, Carroll Guiterrez, Enrique, Butt and Guthrie and took off Beye, Kadar, Duff, Lua Lua, Ameobi and Barton. Jonas and Enrique didn’t take long to combine and the Argentine found himself in the box with an acute angle but cleverly shaped to shoot across goal before rolling the ball back onto his left foot and sliding in past the stranded keeper. It wasn’t long before it was 6-1 as the ball was delivered into the box and Nolan’s powerful header was re-directed by Steve Taylor into the top corner. His celebration began with zeal as always but he seemed to check and recognised where he was and the remainder was more diplomatic.

Ironically, at this point Newcastle had started to show a little bit of arrogance and for a ten minute spell made hard work of things, culminating in Windass’ second goal. Though technically because I was furiously writing up notes on my cr*ppy phone, I missed the goal itself. By now, the Toon fans showed more of their natural wit with the following interlude –

Toon fans – “Dean givvus a wave, Deano, Deano et etc”

Dean Windass – waves and smiles

Toon fans – “There’s only one Dean Windass, one Dean Windass etc”

Dean Windass – smiles

Toon Fans – “One fat basket, there’s only one fat basket etc etc”

Dean Windass – laughs

At some point Butt went off with what looked to me like a dislocated digit but other sites have said a stomach issue. Either way we played with ten men for the last quarter or so. Xisxo and Donaldson came on for Smith and Nolan and although Donaldson showed some decent touches, Xisco was fairly innocuous and looked pretty disinterested. To put the icing on the cake, Enrique picked the ball up on the halfway line and literally give the right back ten yards before pushing it past him and sprinting to catch up with the ball. He whipped in a great ball and Carroll threw everything at it and whatever limb it came off, it fairly flew into the net.

7-2 then and what looks like an emphatic victory and I guess it was. But with the introspection sometimes required after the dust settles and I’ve enjoyed my day, we were average on the whole and the fact we rolled them over was largely due to how bad they were.

To try and sum it up succinctly –

The Toon were average.
Darlo were pretty awful.
Our strip is minging and I mean proper rank.
Dean Windass is a leg-end.
Our fans are class despite what anyone says.

I love away days. Even the short journeys.

Match highlights and Chris Hughton post match interview here and here.

NUFCBlog Author: bowburnmag bowburnmag has written 234 articles on this blog.

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21 Responses

  1. Hugh – aye, I ended up next to the fella who got interviewed for the 1st half but as I’d half expected I bumped into someone I knew at half time. I hadn’t seen him for years though and he’s in the RAF so only up for the weekend. Sat next to him for the 2nd half. Had a right laugh.

    Right off to watch Bill and Ted before I get wrong.

    Bogus dude.

  2. Aye, nice report, Bowburn!

    One thing though. Wasn’t Jonas banned from whipping oot his mask as a celebration?

    And didn’t someone throw their pants at Llambias?

  3. worky – you might be right! Not sure. He looked a bit sullen so perhaps he’s miffed about it. Or he could just be sick of his life. There’s a few of them gave that impression.

    Also, I didn’t the see or hear about the ‘boxers’ incident until after the game so as it didn’t form part of my day I didn’t include it.

    It’s quite funny though, especially as they landed on a Darlo fan apparently?

  4. bowburn

    sick of their life what for? they are multi millionaire footballers with great cars great lasses and they get to play a sport that many around the world not only do for fun but even pay to do

  5. beyethegreat says:
    July 18, 2009 at 10:35 pm


    he got the mask out?”

    Don’t think so Beye. But as I wrote, I thought I read somewhere that he was banned from using it by the fun police at the FA. I’m not entirely sure though.

  6. beye – I didn’t intend to imply I condone it. It’s not justifiable but it’s the impression I got nonetheless. If I’m as fluent in body language as I’m suggesting then half of those buggers have got their bags packed and are ready for the green light.

  7. worky

    youre right about that the tw*ts but unfortunatley i missed the game but i take it we done well

  8. The disinterest of some players can’t be much of a surprise after last season.

  9. Whether it’s against the rules or not, he definitely didn’t get his mask out.

    I forgot to mention my favourite part of the game – when Kevin Nolan had a swing with his right but just nudged it with his standing foot first and kicked fresh air instead. I imagine he’s still getting grief for it as I type.

  10. bowburn i know and agree

    we may be $h!t but even still its not a bad life even if they do hate the club they have no right to be upset i can think of worse things than being a championship footballer on high end premier league wages

  11. I’m waiting to see what 52 reckons.

    I think it’s hard to judge how we faired because Darlo were so limp. Windass huffed and puffed and got his goals and there was a little fella in the middle was half decent (and I think he was a trialist) but otherwise they were very average. Chris Lumsdon, who is a local lad and someone I know of through others on the football grapevine, skippered them but was as anonymous as the rest. No wonder my next door neighbour is coming around to the idea of being a full time Mag.

  12. bowburn

    No wonder my next door neighbour is coming around to the idea of being a full time Mag.

    who does he support

  13. Reet, I’m off.

    Today has worn me out. Hopefully tomorrow there’ll be some real news to go with the usuall Sunday speculation.

    And maybe I really am worn out and delerium is setting in…..

  14. beye – he’s Darlo originally but he always watched out for our results and watched our games. I keep taking him to games etc and he’s almost converted.

  15. good lad bowburn keep up the good work 1 extra fan especially some 1 who is used to supporting a lower league team cant hurt i will try to convert some 1 i am just not sure who ?

  16. Boy!! Some of my reporting was shoddy!!

    I got the Ameobi goals mixed up.

    Carroll headed onto Taylor not Nolan.

    And there was plenty inbetween Enrique and Jonas getting the ball back for his goal.

    Shows what happens when you only start taking notes after an hour!!! :eek: