NUFC Blog featured in this week’s ZOO magazine

Posted on August 15th, 2012 | 42 Comments |

Zoo magazine cover.
NUFC Blog and tits - What more could you ask for?
This week’s edition of the gentleman breast lover’s journal of record, “ZOO” magazine, is carrying their “Massive team by team guide” for the forthcoming Premiership season.

When it came to Newcastle United, of course, it goes without saying that they came to NUFC Blog first to get a fan’s viewpoint of how our season will go.

As my colleague Hugh is away from the blog being a full time indentured geek at the moment, sadly, it was down to me to answer questions such as:

Player to watch?

New signing you’re most excited about?

Player you’d happily drive out of your club?

Premiership team you secretly admire?

Worst away day?

Best away day?

Best away fans?

Best place for a pre-match pint?

Final Premiership place prediction?

I tried to break the habit of a lifetime and answer their questions with the greatest amount of happy clappy style optimism I could muster not to let the side down, but somehow, I just felt dirty and wrong afterwards. It’s done now anyway and I think I pulled it off somehow.

To see the answers, you’ll just have to check out the magazine! It is available now from all good UK newsagents for £1.80.

NUFCBlog Author: workyticket workyticket has written 1091 articles on this blog.

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Comment on this post

42 Responses

  1. Player to watch? – Papiss Cisse, 20 goals this season.

    New signing you’re most excited about? – Amalfitano, will become Anita if/when he signs.

    Player you’d happily drive out of your club? Nile Ranger.

    Premiership team you secretly admire? None.

    Worst away day? Man Utd away, March 2006. 2-0 loss. We never got going. Roeder gave us a wave, like.

    Best away day? Sunderland, if it counts, last season. 1-0 win. Got a pair of tickets from a lad on Twitter…Home end. Still though, cracking day.

    Best away fans? Probably us. Man Utd fans are always loud until they go behind.

    Best place for a pre-match pint? Hotspur / Berry / Shearers / Percy.

    Final Premiership place prediction? Top 7 at current strength. With a few additions…maybe 5th again.

  3. awkward moment when your parents walk in and find you looking at the inappropriate picture :P

  5. Just seen on sky sports website Vurnon Anita in toon for medical and could be signed in time for saterdays game with spurs.

    Lets hope so.

  6. UTD111 says:
    August 15, 2012 at 8:48 am

    “Congratulations on the feature Worky – well done mate!”

    Cheers UTD, they haven’t even bothered to send me a copy this time and I’m too embarrassed to buy one at my age. I’ll have to ask them to put it in a brown paper bag!

  7. If they really have agreed a fee of over £6.5 million for Anita, then Debuchy and his mate, Cabaye, might be somewhat confused as to how they’ve agreed a reasonable fee for little Vurnon so easily, yet they’re dragging their heels so much on putting in a decent bid for Debuchy.

    Oh and UTD, good to see you back on here BTW. I notice that your blog’s been gannin’ canny recently.

  8. Agree with u there worky on debuchy. If this anita deal goes through and debuchy’s doesnt i can see cabaye wanting away. After him coming out like he did. IMO things looking bleak for us atm.
    Yea we got the same 1st as last season which did undoubtly do vey well, but with even more games this year with even less players in squad surely crnt be a good thing.

    Aw well u never no whats round corner MA might just have plans up his sleeve yet.

    Looking forward to sat tho hope we can get season off to flyer.
    Is it right HBA is injuried?

  9. glentoon says:
    August 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    “Is it right HBA is injuried?”

    Glen, the Silver Supremo sez:

    “Nobody was rested on Saturday. Ben Arfa has a slight knee problem which definitely keeps him out of the first week.”

    “Yohan Cabaye is not right in terms of work he has done. We are hoping to get him up to speed and get him involved on Saturday.

    “Papiss has got a slight hamstring we think he will recover by Tuesday or Wednesday. Demba has a shin injury which he has carried for a week or so. So we took him out of the game on Tuesday.”

  12. Aw jesus looks like we’ll be feilding a reserve team against spurs then.
    Are we on tv for europe game?

  13. glentoon says:
    August 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    “Are we on tv for europe game?”

    Glen, isn’t it Channel 5 and ITV 4 who do the Europa games usually, whether it’s whole games or just highlights? I’m pretty sure it will be around somewhere even if it’s just online.

  14. glentoon says:

    “Aw jesus looks like we’ll be feilding a reserve team against spurs then”

    Yeah we’ve only had three months to organise a starting XI. When you consider that our first European campaign, for seven years, begins in eight days time its not disloyal to ask “What’s the fecking point in reaching Europe if we’re not prepared to give it a go ???”

    Pathetic performance from the board, any business so poorly prepared would have shareholders asking questions, oh wait we dont have any shareholders !!!

  15. So we may have only Jonas of our bona fide starters outside of DF/GK? Wow. Don’t like our chances of getting anything out of spurs like that.

  16. “Best place for a pre-match pint?” How would you know you soft southern Geordie ? :lol:

    I always like the “Diamond” pre match and any place I can get into afterwards.

  17. “When it came to Newcastle United, of course, it goes without saying that they came to NUFC Blog.ORG first to get a fan’s viewpoint of how our season will go”

    Wonder why they didnt ask Toonsy aka “Mr Newcastle United” ? :lol:

  18. AndyMac says:
    August 15, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    “Wonder why they didnt ask Toonsy aka “Mr Newcastle United” ?”

    Because I have better tits than Toonsy. :-)

    Andy, would you still be up for writing some match previews this season?

  19. I don’t see how you can say it’s pathetic of the board? We have so far lost none of the squad who almost came third last season, have key injured players back and signed three developmental talents, plus Anita by the looks of it. It’s more pathetic moaning at the club not spending over the odds when we have a strong squad, and not pandering to clubs or agents trying to push deals in their own favour. It’s how we’ve done business for two years now, why should any of us be so arrogant as to second guess the club when the track record speaks for itself so far?

  20. Worky! I feel a bit apologetic today, all these idiots having ago at you and the blog wind me up!
    I dont mind debate, but it’s so demoralising the constant abuse!
    Having said that no one took up my offer of hospitality?
    I have other sites, apart from the Shankill, that normal people are more than welcome to visit!! So anyones welcome!

    Meanwhile back to football, would a couple of journey men (CD, Stiker) not really be enough to bolster the squad?

  22. Worky: just took a break. Got a new Toon top XL, mailed from a UK site. I am 6-3 and 14 stone and it is too big. Who are they making these for nowadays, the Belarus women’s shot put team?

  23. @21

    No, I take that back!!

    If you want help in booking flights or ferries let me know!

  24. Anita in Newcastle having a medical says Skysports and lots of other places online. Lets hope we get this done today so we can focus on getting a few more in.

  25. 1892Clubber says:

    “I don’t see how you can say it’s pathetic of the board? We have so far lost none of the squad who almost came third last season, have key injured players back and signed three developmental talents, plus Anita by the looks of it. It’s more pathetic moaning at the club not spending over the odds when we have a strong squad, and not pandering to clubs or agents trying to push deals in their own favour”

    OK newbie lets have this discussion after 30th August by which time you’ll be someone else ?

  27. Belfast Toon – it is better to avoid however its interesting to note that whenever “Toonsy” is mentioned on this site, Batty appears almost instantly? :lol:

  28. What is the problem with this batty idiot worky? he’s obviously a bit mental and has got a big chip on his shoulder about something.

  29. Worky: I would have thought that Anita “ticks all the boxes” for you. 13 years at your 2nd favourite club being coached in the Ajax way. Should be great at pass-and-move which is what Pardiola purports to play.

    I will be waiting for some smiley faces from you if and when this is complete :)

    I know you have never said anything against the player, just the process of getting him.

  30. Worky,

    well done, zoo’deserve it!

    Out of interest, did u get interviewed by Big Rich? he’s my mate there, and just wondered what capacity he operated in nowadays….

    Great news on Anita – surely D’bag is dead in the water now tho?? Anita can fill in LB, Santon goes to RB…or Simmo stays and Anita nails down LB…either way, cant see any more being spent on defenders.

  32. Who says Spuds havent got a striker ? Lessope Colo and Saylor have him nailed down on Saturday evening !

  35. Sammy J. @33: I look on it like we aren’t going to compete for the title so I don’t care about Man U, except for 2 games.

    We did compete with Arsenal and Spurs though so I am glad RVP and Modric are leaving.

    What weakens Arsenal, helps us and what weakens Spurs, helps us.

  36. Am I going to jinx this? I look at Spurs for Saturday and I am not scared. Away, everything Adebeyor did resulted in a goal and he is not playing and neither is Modric.

  39. With villas-boas or whatever, what are we gonna expect from Spurs?
    And whats Arry up to these days?
    See HBA’s former manager has not picked him for the French national side?
    Where.s all the players we expected, you mean the ones for the future we signed, the ones no one had ever heard of and were got cheap
    That’s it?

  40. chuck says:
    August 16, 2012 at 3:34 am

    “And whats Arry up to these days?”

    He’s a fantasy football manager, Chuck.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRwalxQIkuw

    Sorry I didn’t get back to everyone earlier (I was out) but thanks for your kind words and such above. Since I got back I’ve had to write a blog for the morra and it’s four in the morning now!

  41. GS says:
    August 15, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    “Worky: I would have thought that Anita “ticks all the boxes” for you. 13 years at your 2nd favourite club being coached in the Ajax way. Should be great at pass-and-move which is what Pardiola purports to play.”

    GS, if you’d actually read my pieces properly, you’d have noticed that I haven’t really mentioned Anita that much. This is largely because until very recently, there hasn’t been much of substance regarding the nature of any specific bids for him. Besides, Ajax are the arguably the world leaders in selling top players to top clubs, never mind upstarts such as NUFC, and they seem to be able to take us in their stride.

    “Purports” tends to suggest that you think that is a false claim by Pardiola?

  42. AndyMac I’ll gladly have the discussion with you after August 30th. Must be nice living in a world where everyone is wrong other than you eh?