I coulda been a contender instead of a bum!

Posted on September 15th, 2009 | 94 Comments |

ashley_koFirstly, many thanks to bowburnmag and workyticket, for granting me authorship on this fine site…I promise to blog responsibly, visually and as often as I can.

The illustration is an old image of mine, appropriate for this week as KK’s battle begins, and shows Big Al triumphing over “The Chunky Cockney Monkey”…with KK looking on as referee.

I’m with BBM on this issue; the more pressure brought to bear of this rotund fool, the quicker he’ll want to sell. I’m for censuring the man but supporting the team. Difficult I know, but external forces are being marshalled to help us. The Mirror reported Keegans claim, this morning, as being something that could facilitate a quicker sale of the club. Any prospective new owner would not want their first act to be shelling out £10m for KK’s compensation. An out of court settlement (after a withering judgement from the Premier League this week), could see Barry Moat’s bid accepted…finally!

Our old friends the Serious Fraud Office are putting their wagons in a circle, and calling Ashley out for a fight! Charles Sale (Daily Mail columnist) reports today that “sources” close to Ashley say, he does not want the “distraction” of “running” Newcastle United (sorry, I wasn’t aware that the club was being run by anyone) while simultaneously fighting a lengthy, costly and (potentially) ruinous court case. In which case, a quick sale seems on the cards….I know, I hear you laughing when I say “quick”. The sooner this ‘incompetent’ is out of our lives, the sooner the healing can begin…and, god knows, we’ve a lot of healing to do.

Our magnificent start to the season has glossed over the core instability, which has plagued the Ashley regime, since he fired BSA. There are some people who would have us believe that Ashley is an innocent abroad; a mere victim of circumstance. A good man who tried his best to curb the “outrageous” expectations of “unrealistic” fans. A man who wanted nothing more than to implement his “Five year, Arsenal-on-a-budget” plan, and was prevented from doing so by fans vitriol, and economic disaster. Now, I’ve no wish to alienate fans, we need each other now, more than ever but that is not the conclusion I draw from two years of uninterrupted HELL!.  

I’ve argued, too many times, over Ashley’s moronic, mean-spirited, incompetent behaviour…and that of the idiots he employed! I had thought his stupidity had become self evident by now (especially after his blustering, end of season statement in which he condemned himself, in his own words)……but, I think, the definitive statement on this matter is yet to be made. It will be made, not by us, but by the Serious Fraud Office! When that day comes, I won’t feel much like saying “I told you so”…….but I may not be able to help myself!

Excelsior Out!

NUFCBlog Author: Excelsior Excelsior has written 6 articles on this blog.

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94 Responses

  2. I know I was supposed to produce something for Friday, but my pathetic excuse is that I’m just not finding any spare time whatsoever at the moment to pen anything. Anyway quality drawing to accompany a good article. It looks like this place is gaining a lot of momentum.

  5. I hate ashley as much as the rest of you, but be careful what you wish for. Having to pay KK £10M could be the straw that breaks the camels back, and could end up putting us into administration. This club needs every penny we can get at the moment due to our perilous financial position – not of ashleys making completely – so I am hoping that the arbitration hearing only grant him a small payout. Then hopefully the club will get sold once and for all.

  7. BB – that’s a pretty good wishlist you have there ;)

    KK wins the argument, Ashley is out the door and it hasn’t damaged us too much financially (a cost worth paying). I’ll go for that!

    Excelsior – not ‘pulling any punches’ with this one mind, eh? And to think, some of these guys may not realise you used to sympathise somewhat with Big Mike once upon a time. Or at least suffered him for the sake of the club. For the record, any readers should be aware Excelsior is very much a ‘club first’ kind of fella but gets quite emotive when you mention Mike Ashley these days.

    Not that I make apologies for the view. I think it’s one many still share. And the illustration and headline is very cute.

    I think the next one should be ‘on-the-pitch-positive’ though with Hughton as the main character.

  8. bowburnmag says:
    September 15, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    “I think the next one should be ‘on-the-pitch-positive’ though with Hughton as the main character.”

    Personally, I think the next one one should be completely different to this piece of nasty, vindictive, bigoted, childish garbage.

  9. Phew! And the gloves are off from the Editor-In-Chief! Nobody is pulling punches anymore. I’ll have to stop all of my fence-sitting if this continues. 8O

  10. workyticket says:
    September 15, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Yet again worky doesn’t agree with someones opinion so it’s nasty and vindictive.

    Why is it not just someones point of view/opinion?

    Also I would be interested to hear why what he has said in this piece is not totally and utterly correct?

    In your opinion of course…

  13. summerof69 says:
    September 15, 2009 at 6:00 pm
    good article this site continues to keep getting better and better

    Totally agree.

    Stardust doesn’t come on here very often….

    Is that coincidence?

  14. Stardusts a good honest poster Stuart, I wish he were on more often. Plus he makes you look like a fool which I take satisfaction in!

  15. T_F – one and the same Excelsior. I’ve poached him and I expect he’ll give as good as he got off worky and then the two of them will meet (they both live doon south) over a quality bottle of red wine and will be best mates.

  16. There’s always too much love in the air when Stu and Stardust get together. It makes me a little nauseous.

  19. Nice to see people responding to childish daubs in such a positive way. More on the way…soon! Cheryl Cole dressed in nothing but an away shirt….anyone? SO63!

  20. Toon_Factor says:
    September 15, 2009 at 6:12 pm
    Stardusts a good honest poster Stuart, I wish he were on more often. Plus he makes you look like a fool which I take satisfaction in!

    Who asked you quarter wit?

  24. batty says:
    September 15, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    “worky see you dont agree with it then”

    batty,

    I find it abhorrent that a so called ‘supporter’ is cheering the fact that the club is being opportunistically sued for £9 million. I also find it abhorrent that the same person is cheerleading for likes of the Daily Mail and Simon Bird, who have been savaging the club for years. It’s retards like this who have been dragging the club back for a long time now, and also making Geordies a byword for stupidity, gullibility and a bigoted ‘chip on the shoulder’ mentality. That’s just for starters!

  26. Tino 11 says:
    September 15, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    “Worky – You have called Geordies “thick”, “ugly” etc on here so that’s a bit rich!”

    No I haven’t Tino, that’s a gross distortion.

  27. worky is in proper bad fettle today :)

    And what I know of him, Excelsior is really not bigoted.
    Not in the slightest.

  30. Or stupid, and gullible either 8)….

    That comment might have implied otherwise.

    And surely bigoted can suggest you’re just not accepting of someone else’s view? There is definitely irony in this thread and you will see it soon enough.

  32. Worky,

    Come on man!

    If KK wins this case then he is entitled to whatever he gets. Just because it’s NUFC and we have an emotional tie with them shouldn’t matter.

    This happens at companies all over the world.

    The fact will remain that IF KK wins this case it will be Ashley that has allowed this club to be ‘opportunistically sued’ by his actions and pathetic running ofthis club.

  33. workyticket says:
    September 15, 2009 at 7:32 pm (Edit)

    “I find it abhorrent that a so called ’supporter’ is cheering the fact that the club is being opportunistically sued for £9 million.”

    Sure, if he walked. If it was constructive dismissal though, the abhorrent thing is that the alleged fraudster who owns the club lost us (another) £9m due to his incompetence.

    “I also find it abhorrent that the same person is cheerleading for likes of the Daily Mail and Simon Bird, who have been savaging the club for years.”

    Well I’m no fan of the Daily Mail or Bird I admit.

    “It’s retards like this who have been dragging the club back for a long time now, and also making Geordies a byword for stupidity, gullibility and a bigoted ‘chip on the shoulder’ mentality.”

    Well that’s one view I suppose, although it strikes me as more an insult than an argument, which is hardly productive.

  35. Hugh de Payen says:
    September 15, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    If KK wins and gets £8m that will be about £16m the club has paid out in managers since Ashley bought it.

    I reckon that would make it more spent on managers than he has spent on players!

    We wonder why were where we are….

  36. Hugh’s right like, the ‘aggro juice’, which you have obviously got on IV today, is blunting your normally lucid arguments (even if some of us disagree with them).

    Without facts we have no idea what is ‘opportunistic’ or ‘right’ and getting all radged up and kicking our new author all over the car park over it, is a bit out of character.

    Honestly, you’re miles off on your assessment.

    Has batty (and his new-found love for Ashley) hacked into your account? ;)

  38. bowburnmag says:
    September 15, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    “And surely bigoted can suggest you’re just not accepting of someone else’s view?”

    Bowburn, I may disagree with you sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that I have childish fantasies about you being beaten up or sent to prison for serious fraud like the ignorant bigot who wrote this piece. Your ‘critique’ was fair enough. This is just nasty, ignorant, uncivilised, hateful bullshit.

  39. workyticket says:
    September 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    If he gets found guilty of serious fraud he deserves to go to prison and everything that goes with it…

    Not wishful thinking it’s the way of the world.

  40. I guess it could be argued that Wise knows his stuff to a degree, although it’s difficult to know what he’s been responsible for in his previous roles.

    It’s just a pity he’s a bit like sprouts. Small and nasty and leaves a bitter taste in the mouth (in my opinion anyway).

  41. bowburnmag says:
    September 15, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    I notice he’s wearing a black suit and black tie.

    That must be in respect for his part in the NUFC debacle!

    Either that or he’s hot footed it from the tribunal…

  43. Frickin hell worky, has Exelsior wronged you in another life?

    The illustration is a bit of fun, a nod in the direction of recent ‘celebrity’ ding-dongs and disagreements concluded in the ring. He’s not some sort of thug looking to mete out physical harm on Ashley.

    And his opinion that Ashley may yet face prision could turn out to be fully justified. But where on earth does he say he wishes prison on him?

    Howay man!

  44. If he knew his stuff he’d still be in a job!

    He only knows about battering taxi drivers!

    He played more than a small part in the decline in fortunes of this club.

  45. Howay Stu!! It couldn’t have been much more than a “small” part. The disagreeable little fecker.

  46. bowburnmag says:
    September 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    He didn’t say he wished prison on him. But I do!

    If he is found guilty of serious fraud I hope he ends up in Durham prison,is someone’s beatch and really doesn’t look forward to the showers!

  47. You should never “look forward to the showers”, Stu. “Backs against the wall in Durham”, as the old saying goes.

    Well I might be paraphrasing there and definitely not talking from experience.

  49. Worky, comments 32 (Geordie idiots) and 51 (Big, ugly Geordies) on this thread;

    https://nufcblog.org/2009/09/toon-loan-targets-marlon-king-the-latest/

    I couldn’t find the “thick Geordies” comment, it must have been further back than i thought. It was to do with some fans chanting for Shearer at the match.

    I know you probably don’t mean these comments in a bad way, but it’s just something i’ve noticed. However when someone criticises Wise or JK you seem offended.

    You live in london now i think, don’t you? Perhaps you just have forgotten how loveable us Geordies are! :-)

  50. bowburnmag says:
    September 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    “And his opinion that Ashley may yet face prision could turn out to be fully justified. But where on earth does he say he wishes prison on him?”

    “Charles Sale (Daily Mail columnist) reports today that “sources” close to Ashley say, he does not want the “distraction” of “running” Newcastle United (sorry, I wasn’t aware that the club was being run by anyone) while simultaneously fighting a lengthy, costly and (potentially) ruinous court case. In which case, a quick sale seems on the cards….I know, I hear you laughing when I say “quick”. The sooner this ‘incompetent’ is out of our lives, the sooner the healing can begin…and, god knows, we’ve a lot of healing to do.”

    He’s suggesting that it would be a good thing if Ashley had to fight a costly and ruinous court case, and possibly go to prison because it would mean that Ashley would get out of the club quicker.

    It would be an absolutely catastrophic thing for the club actually, but that’s another issue.

  51. Tino 11 says:
    September 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    “Worky, comments 32 (Geordie idiots) and 51 (Big, ugly Geordies) on this thread;”

    Tino,

    What about the rest of the comments so they can be put in some kind of context? I can manipulate your words too by using that technique. ;-)

  52. He’s not man. He’s paraphrasing your favourite red top.

    He’s saying Ashley will be out of our lives sooner because he wants to fight this ‘fraud’ thing properly and so will sell the club quicker to avoid “distraction”.

  53. workyticket says:
    September 15, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Tino 11 says:
    September 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    “Worky, comments 32 (Geordie idiots) and 51 (Big, ugly Geordies) on this thread;”

    Tino,

    What about the rest of the comments so they can be put in some kind of context? I can manipulate your words too by using that technique. ;-)

    ——————————————————

    I know Worky, there have been other comments but maybe it’s just me, but like i said sometimes i feel you lump all Geordies in to 1 big group, much like Stardust does with his “mob” comments. It was just an observation. :-)

  54. I have no reason to trust the Mail’s ‘sources close to Ashley’ any more than other ‘sources’ and ‘insiders’ who’ve fed us lines of nonsense, but if Ashley really just sees the club as a ‘distraction’ then that’s a sad indication of what he thinks of us.

  56. Tino,

    I can understand you misunderting me I suppose. Apart from the fact that I am a Geordie myself, I just mean the anti outsiders brigade who swallowed all that John Hall ‘Geordie Nation’ crap in the nineties. They give the rest of us a bad name with their insular and resentful attitude and their extreme double standards. It just seems to go on and on and I’m sick of it.

  60. It’s just a pity he’s a bit like sprouts. Small and nasty and leaves a bitter taste in the mouth (in my opinion anyway).

    no your right sprouts are horrible.almost as bad as coconuts

  61. Tino “I know Worky, there have been other comments but maybe it’s just me, but like i said sometimes i feel you lump all Geordies in to 1 big group, much like Stardust does with his “mob” comments.”

    No Tino – the term Mob refers to people of a certain mindset who hang folk without evidence and follow a herd mentality that damages things they love but they – for whatever reason – dont care any more. These same people I hate to say it usually have some remorse about their own personal circumstance and life – thereon they choose to bandwagon jump, hate and blame the first scapegoat for their own suffering – a harsh brutal fact – coldly stated – but true all the same.

  62. Toon Factor – Your love of Stuart is as strong as mine – unfortunately the world has bad smells – evolution dictates that eventually smells learn to type. Stuart being a case in point.

  63. “Worky, comments 32 (Geordie idiots) and 51 (Big, ugly Geordies) on this thread;”

    Bit harsh but true. Ive never been to a match without sitting around big ugly idiots.

  64. Toon_Factor says:
    September 15, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    “Worky, comments 32 (Geordie idiots) and 51 (Big, ugly Geordies) on this thread;”

    Bit harsh but true. Ive never been to a match without sitting around big ugly idiots.
    ——————————————————–
    They have been big and ugly, but how do you know they were idiots or even Geordies? They may have been born in Valencia!

  66. OH dear, point of order tactics to distract from entering into a proper debate about the typically pathetic attempt to play to the cheap seats via the piece above.
    Just carry on believing your own made up version of events, you’re going to anyway.

  67. Tino 11

    People form Valencia arent idiots though Tino there just obnoxious and intimidating, Geordies on the other hand are deluded and unintelligent and you know it! Now im not talking about all Geordies here just the impression theyve had on me at matches and before games etc

  68. People from Valencia are far from obnoxious & intimidating, warm & friendly would beter describe them.
    Bon Nadal.

  69. Toon_Factor says:
    September 15, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Tino 11

    People form Valencia arent idiots though Tino there just obnoxious and intimidating, Geordies on the other hand are deluded and unintelligent and you know it! Now im not talking about all Geordies here just the impression theyve had on me at matches and before games etc
    ——————————————————
    And what do they do that gives you that impression? I know many, many, many Geordies who aren’t unintelligent or deluded. You are falling into the trap of believing what the press say about Geordies rather than what is true. People shout and behave differently at football, but it happens at every single football ground in every city in the UK. People who go to the matches may shout and act daft but outside of football they good me surgeons and accountants etc, so are they unintelligent? As much as i disagree with what Stardust and Rangerman say, they are Geordies and obviously intelligent as are alot of the posters on here and Ed’s blog.

  70. CLiNT FLiCK

    “People from Valencia are far from obnoxious & intimidating, warm & friendly would beter describe them”

    You’ll change your mind if you went a match.

  74. TF – I’m not going to look at those videos because i dread to think what they are like! Every channel always seems to pick the worst possible candidate to broadcast when they pick toon fans! :-)

  75. Tino, they are so anti-geordie mate, that when i seen them do some piece on the unwashed, they went out of their way to find 3 or 4 of the poshest mackems you’ve never seen in your life. Pathetic, that’s the press for you though. Trying their best to make us look like idiots at every turn.

  76. i wish everybody would forget about the behind the scenes shenanaggins and support the team.
    we cannot affect what,s happening at board level at the club,so lets get back to what we can affect,being the 12th man.
    i am sick and tired of listening to the same patter,week in week out for the last year.
    the sad thing is now our club is not known for football,but rather some two bit soap opera,that us in part are coming up with scripts for.
    how often do you hear about the players,the team etc,hardly ever.
    all we get is ashley conspiracy stories,and i have to admit they are from the sublime to the ridiculous.
    the matters of ownership etc we be settled either way,and there is sweet fanny adams we can do about it.
    all we should be doing at this time is focusing on tomorrows match,and hopefully three points.

  78. Trojan – fair point and I agree really. The KK thing has only resurfaced because of this week’s hearing. Plus Excelsior is just sort setting his scene as this is his first article. Plenty of craic tomorrow about the Blackpool game and speculation over potential loanees. Hopefully first thing. No pressure Hugh!

  79. Stuart79 says:
    September 15, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    “Who asked you quarter wit?”

    What an incredibily ironic comeback. You calling him a quater wit beautifully illustrates your own disgusting lack of humour.

    You really are a know-it-all arse-head. A distinct feeling of dread always sweeps over me when I see your name on a post. boring Fu(ker

  80. agree bowburn,but the guttersnipe press,sections of the media want to see us drown.
    without us the fans showing a united front,we are infact describing the water.

  82. Dont be Rick……

    “A distinct feeling of dread always sweeps over me when I see your name on a post”

    Your not the only one – he is a protagonist of negativity and hate – the type we all avoid in every day life.

  83. Something else that pisses me off (almost as much as stewart79) is the amount of people who still seem to think that somones geographical position affects their intelligence levels, or any other character traits for that matter.
    There are all kinds of people, good and bad, wherever you go.

    Oh and by the way, everybody from Sunderland is a paedophile

  86. Yeah, Ashley’s been a lousy owner, but this pro Keegan suing the club crap is just crazy. WHoever puts Keegan above the club has completely lost the plot.

  87. dont be ridickheadulous says:
    September 16, 2009 at 12:17 am
    Something else that pisses me off (almost as much as stewart79) is the amount of people who still seem to think that somones geographical position affects their intelligence levels, or any other character traits for that matter.
    There are all kinds of people, good and bad, wherever you go.

    If ya going to slag me off when I’m not about at least get my name right.

    Sad that Stardust is inventing more people..

  89. This is great! Worky has me down as some “Tabloid Worshipper” (the mere fact I mentioned those two tawdry rags does not, in itself, constitute an endorsement) and Stardust, and his trusty sidekick Batty, have me pegged as a rabble-rousing, ignorant bigot…great! I particularly liked Stardust’s line in high-handed, patronising “analysis”…very funny…I look forward to annoying him immensely.

    The drawing is a drawing, designed to elicit a response, which it did. If Mike Ashley happens to get “banged up” for a five stretch in Pentonville, and making a lot of new “shower buddies”, then I can hardly be blamed for it, can I? The level of violence on display, in it, is in no way an indicator of my temperament; in the same way as “Tom and Jerry” didn’t signify that Chuck Jones was a psychopath.

    Football blogs are an arena of opinion…nothing more, and opinions are like arseholes: everybody has one and, on occasion, it’s heard from a little too much!

    It’s funny, people with one over-arching principle of commonality……love of NUFC…..can find some much to fight about among each other!

    Overall, it’s great to be here! This is going to be fun!

  90. Excelsior says:
    September 16, 2009 at 11:40 am (Edit)

    It’s funny, people with one over-arching principle of commonality……love of NUFC…..can find some much to fight about among each other!

    ——-

    Aye, we don’t often do group hugs when it comes to club politics.

  91. Excelsior “I particularly liked Stardust’s line in high-handed, patronising “analysis”…very funny…I look forward to annoying him immensely.”

    Thats what this blogs about – good honest different views – I enjoyed the read even though I dont agree with it.

    By the powers of deduction I assume you’re autistic lol – great artist – terrible thinker lol.

  92. Thanks for that Stardust!

    Your deductive powers are off….but only a little, spookily enough!

    Your knowledge of autism seems a little sketchy…let me enlighten you. Not all people with autism are savants. Case in point is my son, Thomas, who struggles with drawing but is brilliant with statistics, figures and has an excellent memory.

    Anyone with a great, over-riding passion for anything can display ‘autistic tendencies” when dealing with it (just a pet theory of mine), the exclusion, from the mind, of everything but the favoured topic is just one of autisms traits.

    This is a great site, with some great writers on it, I’m excited to be a part of it.

    Expect more of my “terrible thinking” soon…if Worky is happy for me to post, that is.

  94. Excelsior says:
    September 16, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    “Expect more of my “terrible thinking” soon…if Worky is happy for me to post, that is.”

    I don’t mind at all, Excelsior, you’re a good writer.