The Good Ship Toontanic – A Passengers Diary

Posted on June 2nd, 2009 | 13 Comments |

toontanic2Day 14,696

I sat alone in my cabin listening to the creaking and groaning as we lurched side to side, forward, backwards against the seas, my only company being the deafening tick tocking of the clock by my bedside, each wave sent jarring pain through my sides, I couldn’t take much more, neither could the ship, I drifted lonely into thoughts about why we had came to be here…

I had been in my cabin of the Toontanic for almost 40 years, I was fed gruel by the poor crew who simply didn’t care about me, I was a paying passenger and they had my cash. The latest Captain Mike had been made to walk the plank – he showed good signs and had plugged the rust laden hull – but he was a Jonah – the passengers didn’t trust him – he was now locked down in the hold – he  has agreed to walk the plank. The passengers will be satisfied when he is in Davy Jones Locker – but only until the next Jonah arrives .

It was only last year when a large group of the passengers after suffering years of suffering, started to rip away at the very fabric of the ship, they turned on their own and ripped at the hull, we were listing badly and taking in water, as the next wave crashed over our bow – the press all pointing fingers laughing at us – I wondered who will come to our rescue.

I have heard great talk of a new Captain called Shearer is waiting in the wings, he is awaiting fully briefed outside the pilot house, his papers from shore are arriving soon, the funds are being made available by a bank called Barclays to the tune of 40million, it seems like Captain Mike put on the Autopilot, made sure we had enough fuel and had just put on the Autopilot to take us to shore, I secretly pray that his last plan works, that we don’t hit the rocks instead.

I gather Captain Mike has agreed to sell the Toontanic for a much reduced rate, but we had lost our five star rating, we are now just a 4 star, I hope for all of our sakes someone with a good navigation system buys us, and that they fix the passenger information system – maybe all that talk of Jonahs will go.

If new owners are found I hope that Mikes payment of 150million to us is used wisely, as if the new Owners build on that they will take the credit, but only a few new additions of crew and resources will see us reborn. For now – I live in hope the jarring has stopped, we are on Autopilot but in the doldrums………I hope and pray we reach shore, land and safety in a beautiful marina not Cape Horn.

NUFCBlog Author: Stardust Stardust has written 15 articles on this blog.

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13 Responses

  1. To be fair, the ship was listing before Captain Mike manned the bridge.

    But Captain Mike made the mistake of sailing straight for the rocks. No wonder the passengers jumped overboard.

    But we’re in dry dock waiting for repairs and a new crew now, so let’s hope we have calm seas on our next voyage.

  2. Hugh – that was terrible – I need argument and debate – I have to be far too polite here now I am an administrator lol.

    grrrrr frustrating new role already.

  3. What next Stardust? Mike Ashley and Wor Al in “Heart of Darkness”? The horror! the horror! :-)

    Hope you like your new avatar too. Sorry, couldn’t resist!

  4. Stardust, I suspect we’ll have plenty opportunity for argument and debate, what with you being wrong all the time :)

    I’m just getting a feel for things at the moment.

    Good job with the blog though guys. I hope it’s a success and I love anything that distracts me from doing work!

  5. ws thinking of using this theme to reflect some thoughts of developments over the coming days/weeks – is it kitch or cool?

  6. The theme seems okay to me but I’m not the best person to ask on account of me being graphically incompetent.

    I tend to home in on content and ignore the look.

  7. Oh yeah, fine with me. I like analogy. Not sure it’ll be everyone’s cup of tea though, but stick with it and I’m sure people will shout if it annoys them.

  8. stardust can u do a story how mike ashley lyed and tricked KING KEV to come back m8

  9. Lol – good thing is Batty we will have lots of contributors unlike Eds site – it means all kinds of views will be expressed. So if someone wants to run that – they can! But to be fair fella – we couldnt give you an admin account – it’d be like giving Osama Bin Laden a Bomb lol

    There will be loads added as we move on.

  10. stardust well watch who u give the admins jobs too cos u know a lot of people dont like me and i cant understand why lol

  11. and talking aboot binladen i wouldnt mind them as next owners at least they wont be tight arses like fat ash ha