So, are we a big club?It’s hard to judge what’s big and what isn’t because the word ‘big’ is relative and subjective. An elephant is big compared to a mouse but small compared to a whale. When it comes to football clubs it can be a particular point of contention to define what constitutes a ‘big club’.
Is Newcastle United a ‘big club’?
It’s a question that plagues me because when I’m in discussion with rival supporters they often set me up via a logical fallacy known as ‘poisoning the well’. They will say things like: “Newcastle supporters are deluded because they think it’s still a big club. By the way, do you think it’s a big club?” Of course if I say it is a big club I’m labelled as deluded because they’ve ‘poisoned the well’ with their loaded question. Their argument wouldn’t stand up in a formal debating society but it works well enough down the pub. (more…)
Mr Expletives ready to manage again.Remember this?
JK: Which one is Simon Bird?
SB: Me.
JK: You’re a c*nt.
SB: Thank you.
JK: Which one is Hickman? You are out of order. Absolutely f*cking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can f*ck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that f*cking crap. No f*cking way, lies. F*ck, you’re saying I turned up and the players f*cked off.
SB: No Joe, have you read it, it doesn’t actually say that. Have you read it?
JK: I’ve f*cking read it, I’ve read it.
SB: It doesn’t say that. Have you read it?
JK: You are trying to f*cking undermine my position already.
SB: Have you read it, it doesn’t say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.
JK: F*ck off. F*ck off. It’s your last f*cking chance.(more…)
Smith & Taylor - staying or gannin'? The general consensus in the press is that things will reach a conclusion regarding Newcastle’s new owner soon. I don’t think the press actually have a clue who will be the new owner and I’m sure they just make most of it up, but I think they’re probably right that something will be announced by early next week.
Why do I think that? I don’t know – it just feels about right. Call it gut instinct. In fact let’s call it ‘sources close to the club‘ – my fictional sources are as valid as the fictional sources the press use.
So, let’s reword that: sources close to the club insist the new owner will be in place by next week. Now I’m sounding like a real journalist.
What I wanted to do was speculate as to what needs to be done in terms of players when the new owner takes over.
We have already started pre-season training and our first pre-season match is on Saturday 11th July. It’s feasible that the new owner will be in place by then and a new manager will have been appointed, particularly if that new manager is Shearer because he’s just sat around with his thumb up his bum waiting to get started. If the new owner doesn’t favour Shearer then it might take a bit longer to get a manager in place. (more…)
Could it be a nightmare? According to yesterday’s Sunday Mirror (don’t snigger), Ashley will receive two bids for the club this week. Apparently Freddy Krueger Shepherd is one of the bidders and the other is believed to have Geordie roots but overseas finance.
The Mirror reports that neither bid is for the £100m Ashley wants but will be somewhere around the £80-90m mark. Apparently due diligence has already been performed and the deal could be finalised within a few weeks.
There may be some truth in this but the Mirror’s report looks a bit suspicious. There were no direct quotes and there weren’t even any ‘sources close to the club’ or ‘insiders’ mentioned in the report. It has all the look of an inventive guess by a bored journalist.
Nevertheless it’s raising the frightening prospect of Freddy Shepherd taking over the club again, which is a fairly depressing thought. We’re stuck between a rock and hard place: is it better to carry on ownerless or is it better to have Freddy Shepherd take over? That’s like someone saying you must lose either an arm or a leg but you can choose which. Neither prospect is appealing and I hope a third option emerges as the eventual solution. (more…)
No, not that sort of model! As I was sat at my breakfasting table this morning, fending off a dog and two cats who had designs on my bacon sandwich, my thoughts turned to the subject of models. Not the size zeros that act as clothes pegs on the catwalk though – I’m talking about football club models.
In Mike Ashley’s statement following the Keegan departure, he tried to defend what he called his ‘Arsenal Model’ for the club but, as the last bit of my bacon sandwich disappeared into a grateful dog, I realised I was a bit bemused by what the Arsenal Model actually is.
In terms of finances, I can only see two models for a football club. Either you look to make a profit (or at least break-even) or you have an owner with deep pockets who doesn’t mind funding things at a loss. If you’re going to try and make a profit then it makes sense to look for young up and coming players you can get at a decent price who either give you good value for money as your future stars or you sell them on at a profit. There are ‘in between’ scenarios where for example you might borrow some money against future success but ultimately you either make a profit or have a rich owner who doesn’t care. I am not sure how clubs like Liverpool, who reputedly owe many millions, are going to achieve financial balance. (more…)
