Swansea City vs Newcastle United match banter!

Posted on December 4th, 2013 | 128 Comments |

Swansea v Newcastle United.
Swansea: The victims of some pathetic refereeing this season.
Venue: Liberty Stadium, Swansea.
Date: Wed 4th Dec, 2013.
Kick off: 7.45pm.
Referee: Howard Webb.
UK TV: BT Sport.

Hello, good evening and welcome to our latest ‘match banter’ feature for this evening’s game against Swansea City at their place.

Poor old Swansea haven’t had much luck recently. Amongst other things they have been the victims of some of some of the most awful deciosions, and it has usually cost them points, as it did against Valencia and Stoke most recently.

Personally, I think Michael Laudrup needs to be a little more like Alex Ferguson or Jose Mourinho. They know that match officiating, like parking enforcement is one of those jobs that just attracts the wrong kind of people mostly, little Hitlers. They know that there is no point whatsoever in being nice and respectful to them as that will just make them respect you even less, you have to make them fear you. Swansea are too nice and Laudrup and his players really need to start getting in their faces a bit more. Having written all that, I do hope that the Magpies win this game fair and square this evening, rather than having to rely on some dreadful decision.

There’s also more bad luck for Swansea as they will also be missing their two biggest goalscorers, Wilf Bony and Michu, though they have Getafe striker, Álvaro Vázquez to stand in. Despite these setbacks, Laudrup has been far more positive this season about the club competing in the Eutopa League than Alan Pardew was with Newcastle last season.

But, alas, time is marching on and I had better sign off for now and get the team sheets for this evening’s game, but only after I have given you my usual reminders that I will posting links to watch the game online any minute now too, as well as highlights and a full match video when it’s all over.

Howay the lads!

Teams.

Swansea City (4-2-3-1): Michel Vorm (G); Dwight Tiendalli, Chico Flores, Ashley Williams (c), Ben Davies; Jose Canas, Jonathan De Guzman; Jonjo Shelvey, Alejandro Pozuelo, Pablo Hernandez; Alvaro Vazquez

Subs: Gerhard Tremmel (G), Jordi Amat, Neil Taylor, Leon Britton, Wayne Routledge, Roland Lamah, Nathan Dyer.

Newcastle United (4-4-2): Tim Krul (G); Mathieu Debuchy, Mike Williamson, Fabricio Coloccini (c), Davide Santon; Moussa Sissoko, Cheick Tiote, Yohan Cabaye, Yoan Gouffran; Shola Ameobi, Loic Remy.

Subs: Rob Elliot (G), Massadio Haidara, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Vurnon Anita, Gabriel Obertan, Sammy Ameobi, Papiss Cisse.

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NUFCBlog Author: workyticket workyticket has written 1091 articles on this blog.

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128 Responses

  1. Fancy a Win tonight – Walking in a Pardeux Wonderland….he is the next Bobby Robson…very similar personalities too :lol:

  2. Same team again.

    Newcastle United (4-4-2): Tim Krul (G); Mathieu Debuchy, Mike Williamson, Fabricio Coloccini (c), Davide Santon; Moussa Sissoko, Cheick Tiote, Yohan Cabaye, Yoan Gouffran; Shola Ameobi, Loic Remy.

    Subs: Rob Elliot (G), Massadio Haidara, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Vurnon Anita, Gabriel Obertan, Sammy Ameobi, Papiss Cisse.

  3. Supposedly Boni and Michu wont be playing so that’s a big help to us. I am feeling a win tonight(Especially after a 4 win run and super confidence) as long as we don’t take them for granted.

  4. Newcastle United (4-4-2): Tim Krul (G); Mathieu Debuchy, Mike Williamson, Fabricio Coloccini (c), Davide Santon; Moussa Sissoko, Cheick Tiote, Yohan Cabaye, Yoan Gouffran; Shola Ameobi, Loic Remy.

    Subs: Rob Elliot (G), Massadio Haidara, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Vurnon Anita, Gabriel Obertan, Sammy Ameobi, Papiss Cisse.

    Swansea City (4-2-3-1): Michel Vorm (G); Dwight Tiendalli, Chico Flores, Ashley Williams (c), Ben Davies; Jose Canas, Jonathan De Guzman; Jonjo Shelvey, Alejandro Pozuelo, Pablo Hernandez; Alvaro Vazquez

    Subs: Gerhard Tremmel (G), Jordi Amat, Neil Taylor, Leon Britton, Wayne Routledge, Roland Lamah, Nathan Dyer.

  5. No Ben Arfa? AndyMac will be pleased that Obertan has been promoted above Ben Arfa in the pecking order.

  6. Ben Afrie needs to be sold…I would give him a bit of playing time and get Pardew to rave about how well he is doing in training etc (shop window).

  7. Then we could spend the money on a Free transfer and agents fees and the training ground.

  8. Game on BT sport in HD for me tonight. Nice to have a break from streaming.

    Scores then guys? I say 2-1 to us.

  9. Going for the win Phisix 3-2 Toon Think it will be a good open game….think Swansea will huff and puff but little else,watched them against valencia and it was fairly standard stuff.

  10. sirjasontoon says:
    December 4, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    “Ben Afrie needs to be sold…I would give him a bit of playing time and get Pardew to rave about how well he is doing in training etc (shop window).”

    I can see that with Ben Afro and Sissy, we sell ’em, then we’re watching them scoring in the Champions League final a season or two after. That would be so Newcastle, SJT.

  11. Going to be a long game. All Swansea at the moment, but they are a passing team so it’s bound to happen.

  12. Pards has probably told the team to hold ship and let them tire themselves out. We dont seem bothered going for it yet so probably counter attack play for us.

  13. Phisix says:
    December 4, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    “Pards has probably told the team to hold ship and let them tire themselves out.”

    Thing is though if you play passing, possession football properly you don’t tire out like that, you let the ball do the work. It’s chasing around after long balls, or a ball you don’t have that is more tiring.

  14. So what Suarez is a horse headed zUNT with not an ounce of sportsmanship in his veins!

  15. I think we need to get rid of Tiote buy some seeds for the training pitches and pay the electric bills :)

  16. Right before Ht too. Awesome.

    We best come out guns blazing next half instead of half assing it.

  17. sirjasontoon says:

    “I can’t understand why we are sitting back this Swansea side is shit :)”

    I’ve said it before SJT, its in his DNA :(

  18. 26% possession and a Pardew 2nd half on tap. Doomed.

    Had this one marked down as unlikely to return us anything. They’re not playing into our hands and we’ve relied too much on luck and individual brilliance for goals lately.

  19. worky @ 57: some of us weren’t fooled by consecutive 1-goal wins fueled by 14-save performances and individual wondergoals.

  20. workyticket says:

    “Doesn’t take much to get anti-Pardew jihadists started again”

    Never been anything other than anti Pardwho, I think thats pretty obvious. Yet with this squad, albeit without HBA, we should have so much more creativity.

    Mascherano and Tevez found out all about Pardwho’s stifling of the creative spirit.

  21. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  22. defender for a defender substitution we going to win. Swansea all over us wish this game would just end now.

  23. I wonder how much profit Man U have made off us with their reject players we have bought off of them..

  24. 68 how can debuchy be suspended again has he not just served a 1 match suspension for reaching 5 yellows against norwich??

  25. onetino says:
    December 4, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    “68 how can debuchy be suspended again has he not just served a 1 match suspension for reaching 5 yellows against norwich??”

    You’re dead right actually, onetino. I’m sure the commentator said it.

  26. kruls defo got busted fingers the 3 rd goal he should be saving with his left hand and tryed to save it with his right hand

  27. And again: getting destroyed by a half-strength Swansea AFTER beating Chelsea and Spurs shows me that AP has no idea what he’s doing or any tactical plan that the players buy into and that we ride individual performances and pure luck to any results we get.

    I feel personally insulted every time Obertan comes on the pitch.

  28. There’s no one better in the world than Gabriel Obertan when it comes to kicking a ball straignt into the midriff of an opposition player. That’s his secret.

  29. DarthBroon says:
    December 4, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    “I refuse to be taken in by one more bloody false dawn.”

    I’ve seen a few of those since 1974, Darth. It was Keegan’s 90s, then the Cup final appearences that finally broke my spirit I think.

  30. Lets just be grateful their two goal scorers didn’t play.
    Who knows what the score could have been?
    We always seem to give teams having a bad patch a “leg up” That’s the trouble with luck it has a habit of running out.

  31. got to kill off them little teams and we did not do that tonite golden chance missed for 5 wins on the bounce

  32. But surely we should be beating the likes of Swansea, Because we are top 4 material, That one was a shock if ever there was one!

    That result has been coming for weeks, But Pardew and the “Deliverance Mob”, Have been screaming Yewrup!
    We have ridden are luck, And true to form, Pardew has milked it for all it was worth.
    The staggering thing about it is, This conman is able to fool a big section of the support.

    Anyone who buys into “Pardew’s Mugs Paradise”, Is as daft as he is ffs!

    I wonder what the excuse will be tonight,
    It was the glint from Jonjo Shelvey’s folical free brow?
    That four match run will be the highlight of the season!

  33. TOONARMYELITE says:
    December 4, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    “just got to pick ourselfs up and go on another decent run”

    Aye, starting with Mancheter United. They’re not a little team so we’ll knack ’em!

  34. A letdown in effort, allowed Swansea to stroke the ball around with no pressure for most of the game.
    What we have to do is practice breakout’s, as they certainly didn’t work.
    Obviously The Prince of Denmarks strategy worked, even without his top goalscorers, played a possession game to which we showed litte interest in attempting to recover the ball.
    Outplayed and surprise, Pardew was again outfoxed.
    So what’s new ?
    One of those defeats that one senses before it happens, overconfidence was the case to-day, where some just didn’t feel like putting out the effort.
    You have to work harder to win in this league, a good lesson.
    Plus Pardieu can make some changes, but regardless, it all requires a lot of effort, you can’t stroll through this league.

  35. At least we genuinely threatened to do something good during Keegan’s first tenure, worky. Ultimately, we were disappointed but we can’t say we weren’t entertained (and it was good to be everyone’s ‘second favorite team’).

    Toonyc’s right when he says GD is telling for us at the moment. We’ve fluked a few very close results – we haven’t really dominated anyone.

  36. As I wrote earlier this evening elsewhere

    “Now looking at the top six, after Chelski, Citeh and Arsenal we have a first XI as good as the Mancs, RBD’s and Spuds. The difference between us and those teams becomes obvious when you compare the managers.

    One day when we’re all old and grey we’ll think back and remember Pardwho as being as woeful as Gullitt, Dalglish, Souness, Roeder etc etc and appreciate how difficult it is to find a truly intelligent, innovative, driven individual with the cahones to take on the world and come up with a few trophies.

    Until that time we limp from season to season, losing interest in the Cups at a fairly early stage, never threatening the leaders and playing what can only be termed as low risk, percentage football. What the frick did we do to deserve this buffoon ?”

  37. AndyMac
    Q. Would you rather have Moyes or Martinez then? And which world class manager would we get/ pay for under Ashley exactly???

  38. Dont need world class but competent would do. Getting a goal before they do then hanging on for a win is not world class nor competent.

    When and if Pardwho ever learns to view, assess and change the course of a game for the better with tactical changes/substitutions is the day I’ll accept that he’s the best we can do under the Fatman.

  39. Are luck, What the f**k am i on?, Will have to leave the drink alone.
    The problem is we have some very good players at our disposal, But Pardew never gets the maximum out of them.
    That’s the only reason we rub along, Is because we do possess some semblance of quality.
    He will carry on bumbling to the odd win, And possibly keeping his head above water, But is that good enough?

    We do not have to go out and get Mourinho, Just someone who can get these players somewhere near their potential, And not this half a**ed crap Pardew is serving up.

    I know people think your coming out of the woodwork to have a go at him, After one defeat, But i have never got carried away with recent results.
    We have been very lucky barring the Chelsea game, And the margins are that thin, We could just as easily be sitting here calling for Pardew’s head.

    We go two goals up against teams like Norwich, And then he starts thinking he’s master tactician, And has everyone sitting deep and trying to defend, When we should be trying to get the killer 3rd goal.
    We nearly always end up throwing points away, Because of his meddling that doesn’t need to happen most of the time.

    He is what he is, A very mediocre manager who is about fine margins.
    If you win him at the helm, The games are nearly always a struggle, But when you lose with him, They tend to be right old East Ridings!

  40. Well we knew we would come crashing back to earth. He tried to duplicate what he did at Swansea a couple of seasons ago and it didn’t work. Still we have some winnable games and maybe he will play Anita and Ben Arfa.

    We all know Shola can’t play 90 minutes on Saturday and then start on Wednesday.

    I just hope Ben Arfa doesn’t have a big strop on. You could hardly blame him the way he has been frozen out after winning a couple of games earlier in the season.

  41. @ GS
    what you called frozen out id call going awol and he wernt going awol he was giving the ball away all the time

  42. DJG says:
    December 4, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    “AndyMac
    Q. Would you rather have Moyes or Martinez then? And which world class manager would we get/ pay for under Ashley exactly???”

    Only employing a manager in the basis of a cheap salary rather than their quality as a coach would be a stupid and misguided economy. You might have to pay 20 odd players in a squad tens, or even hundreds of thousands of pounds a week at the biggest clubs, but you only have to pay one manager.

  43. “The Sun Got To Shine On A Dogs Ass Sometime”.

    That’s where we really are in respects to Pardew, If you keeping putting a useless mutha f**ka out there, Then eventually he might stumble onto something.

    Lets not forget that his little winning run has been sandwiched between some of this club’s worst ever results!
    It has been truly galling to see some of the crap that has been written in the chip papers about Pardew.
    The comparisons between him and Bobby Robson, Are laughable at best.
    Some have even had the temerity to hail him as some Messianic figure, Which to any level headed person is a complete joke.

    No surprise in the fact he had his excuse lined up with some of the games contentious decisions being cited as the main reason for the defeat.
    Okay he might of had a case for some of them, But the bottom line was, We were not good enough to get anything out of this game, And you have to make your own luck.

    No doubt there will be some limp fisted rallying call to the players and the faithful, To cause an upset at Old Trafford.
    Words like “We Do Not Fear The Reds” or some other kind of rhetoric will be used.

    You just knew when everything was being talked up in the media, With Pardew and players like Santon, Making their mouths go, Disaster was on the horizon!
    It was like the 6 years old’s that could write a script for “Coronation Street” or some other tawdry “Soap Opera”

    Well onto the next one…

  44. joe hawkins says:
    December 5, 2013 at 10:33 am

    “The Sun Got To Shine On A Dogs Ass Sometime”

    How about the infinite monkey theorem, Joe?

    If you leave a Pardew in a dugout for long enough doing random things, eventually he will win the Champions League. The only question is how long would it take?

  45. Dunno havent got a calculator that does trillions :(

    Seriously though Pardwho’s only excuse for sitting back and letting a weakened Swansea side piss all over us was to save his side from fatigue for the early Saturday kickoff ?

    That being the case what happened to “I could pick two teams at the moment from this squad” ???????

  46. Worky, I don’t think any of us could live that long!
    He will win the odd game 2-1 or something close, He did seem to be a bit like that at West Ham, Until the tailspin.
    His only saving grace is he does have some talented individual players, Who dig him out of a hole at times.
    I would love to see a manager come in, Who would let these players play, Instead of watching his disjointed counter attacking passive Football.

    I just think this set of players have more to give, But sadly under Pardew’s tutelage, If you can call it that, We will never see it!

  47. I just read Ben Arfa was sick and Cisse injured. That explains the team selection a bit but it doesn’t explain the tactics. It also doesn’t explain Obertan.

    They played Marveaux in the U21 game. He must have been injured. Maybe they were hiding it because he does have a terrible history of groin injuries.

  48. GS-nothing explains Obertan except maybe that we want to remind French & Championship clubs that he could be theirs for the right price…