Anzhi Makhachkala vs Newcastle United match banter!

Posted on March 7th, 2013 | 103 Comments |

Anzhi Makhachkala v Newcastle United.
Moneybags Makhachkala.
Venue: Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow.
Date: Thurs 7th March, 2013.
Kick off: 5.00pm.
Referee: István Vad (Hungary).
UK TV: ITV 4.

Hello, good afternoon / evening and welcome to our “match banter” feature for Newcastle United’s latest Europa League game, this time against Dagestan’s Anzhi Makhachkala in Moscow.

Perhaps the two largest bits of team news for this encounter are that Cisse will be out with some kind of virus, and that Captain Colo has really done his back in something rotten trying to do that fancy bicycle kick against Southampton the game before last. He is back in Argentina and will be out for much longer than was initially suspected. You can see below the 19 man squad that Alan Pardew has taken to Moscow, where Anzhi have to play all their home games despite it being over 1000 miles from their home. This is due to Dagestan being a notorious haven for Mafia crime and terrorism.

The 19 who have flown to Moscow.

Rob Elliot (G), Jak Alnwick (G), Danny Simpson (D), Steven Taylor (D), Mapou Yanga M’Biwa (D), Davide Santon (D), Massadio Haïdara (D), James Perch (M, D), Vurnon Anita (M, D), Cheick Tiote (M), Gael Bigirimana (M), Dan Gosling (M), Yohan Cabaye (M), Moussa Sissoko (M), Hatem Ben Arfa (M), Sylvain Marveaux (M), Gabriel Obertan (M), Shola Ameobi (F), Adam Campbell (F).

I will also be updating this piece with the official team sheets when they are available.

Previous Form.

Anzhi Makhachkala and Newcastle United’s previous record in this year’s Europa League (most recent first).

Anzhi Makhachkala: D|W|L|W|W|L|W|D|W|W P10, W6, D2, L2.

Newcastle United: W|D|L|D|D|W|W|D|W|D P10, W4, D5, L1.

Although this game will be broadcast live on ITV 4 in the UK, I will also be posting links to watch the game online for those who can’t watch ITV 4, as well as posting highlights and a full match video when it’s all over.

Howay the Lads!

Team sheets.

Anzhi Makhachkala (4-2-3-1): Vladimir Gabulov (G), Andrey Eschenko, Joao Carlos, Ewerton, Yuri Zhirkov; Jucilei da Silva, Lassana Diarra; Odil Ahmedov, Willian, Oleg Shatov, Samuel Eto’o (C).

Subs: Evgeniy Pomazan (G), Rasim Tagirbekov, Arseny Logashov, Ali Gadzhibekov, Carcela-Gonzalez, Fedor Smolov, Lacina Traore.

Newcastle United (4-2-3-1): Rob Elliot (G), Danny Simpson, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, James Perch, Massadio Haidara, Yohan Cabaye (C), Vurnon Anita, Sylvain Marveaux, Moussa Sissoko, Gabriel Obertan, Hatem Ben Arfa,

Subs: Jak Alnwick (G), Davide Santon, Steven Taylor, Gael Bigirimana, Cheick Tiote, Adam Campbell, Shola Ameobi.

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NUFCBlog Author: workyticket workyticket has written 1091 articles on this blog.

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Comment on this post

103 Responses

  2. Newcastle United: Elliot, Simpson, Yanga-Mbiwa, Perch, Haidara, Anita, Cabaye, Marveaux, Sissoko, Obertan, Ben Arfa

    Substitutes: Alnwick, Santon, S.Taylor, Bigirimana, Tiote, Shola Ameobi, Campbell

  5. The game is on ITV4.

    Been looking forward to this game, but unlucky for the lads who get some astroturf burns today.

  8. <<<<<<<<<< thinks a draw will be a great result for us but not hopefull here

  9. TOONARMYELITE says:
    March 7, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    “@
    workyticket games on itv 4 you know bud”

    I knaa Toon, that’s why I put it at the top. ;-)

    I put links up too because some people who view this site can be on the other side of the world.

  13. <<<<<< would like to know why tiote and taylor siting on the bench instead of starting

  14. TOONARMYELITE says:
    March 7, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    “would like to know why tiote and taylor siting on the bench instead of starting”

    In case something happens to them and they can’t play in the Premiership I would guess, especially so with Taylor now that Colo’s out for most of the rest of the season.

  16. Alright, I hope I am not repeating what someone else said as I didn’t read all of the last threads as there were several diatribes from the unspecial one and I am giving myself a break from his ramblings.

    But, Jonas didn’t travel!

    Is it suspicious that coloccini is back in Argentina? Bad backs are easy to fake.

  18. I take it back about Colo. I just read he has 2 broken bones. That will be painful. I had a herniated disc and could only crawl around for a week. God knows what Colo is going through.

  24. Phisix says:
    March 7, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    “How hard is it to have a grass pitch anyway? I thought this team were rich?”

    This isn’t their stadium Phisix. As I pointed out above, they’ve travelled almost as far as Newcastle have because they’re not allowed to play in Dagestan. It’s too dangerous there.

  25. Fair enough, but surely there are other stadiums in Russia better than this as it is limiting our play.

  26. I think the weather damages the grass really quickly so alot of Russian sides use these turfs.

  27. Phisix says:
    March 7, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    “Fair enough, but surely there are other stadiums in Russia better than this as it is limiting our play.”

    Phisix, that’s the best stadium in Russia. It’s their Wembley and that’s where the World Cup final will be played when they have it there. They don’t have to make it easy for us anyway so long as it’s the legal type of artificial turf.

  29. a half decent preformance from most ov the lads in that 1st half..fkin Obertan is pish poor as usual tho.even Jim Beglin says he’s a liabilty…get him off n give young Adam Campbell a go.atleast we would have a striker on the pitch.glad to see Willian off tho coz he is a dangerous player.

  44. Would definitely have taken that before the start. Pretty damn good. We were great in midfield with some lovely short passing.

    The officials were good, as well. Didn’t get a single thing wrong that I can think of. Makes all the difference ;)

  45. Waste of 90 minutes. Yes it is a good draw but if they score once next week then we are buggered. We should win the home game next though.

  46. Well played against a good team in a difficult place to go to. No mistakes by Pardew and hopefully no injuries from the placka pitch.

  49. that’ll de us..would ov liked an away goal but 0-0 is ok..just need to out score them at home..
    gotta buy a striker in the summer,its gotta be top priority.that n selling Obertan.

  50. aye phisix your right there and speaking of moaning where is sjt tonight, has he gone to moscow?

  52. jack72 you are a true geordie, a good draw away in the last 16 now we are going to win it. Hope we get some “were gonna win the league” chants on sunday.lol

  53. sammy d says:
    March 7, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    “aye phisix your right there and speaking of moaning where is sjt tonight,”

    Never mind SJT Sammy, we still have Chuck’s guff to look forward to once he gets back from the pub. :-(

  55. great result for us,look very solid at the back without mr do no wrong collo lol

  56. Yeah i know you are looking forward to hearing my piece, at least it makes sense.

    Another poor game for the spectator.
    It was obvious Pardew was willing to settle for a tie, as apart from the slow and overweight HBA’s attempt in the second half, we never looked like scoring.

    Plus fielding a mostly defensive lineup, should have pre warned the fans what to expect.

    HBA is not by any means match fit and looks overweight, he should have been pulled off after thirty minutes and should never have made it passed half time.

    He went missing as far as defensive duties were concerned and it was apparent , he was outta gas.
    And Pardew should have taken action earlier.

    Obertan is no Gouffran, who when playing with Sissoko, make a tough combination to contain.

    Perch ? eh !
    Anita, nothing great to say about him either.
    Haidara, not a great game.

    Shola was infuriating with his constant chippy fouls, i have noticed that he has become a dirtier player directly with age.

    In general the players seemed uninspired and lackluster.
    Pardew, happy with a tie i suppose, not having any real goalscorer.

    But you cant expect to have ten men constantly in their own end and cede all that space, to the opposition, because in nine outta ten cases they will score.
    So puleeez stop parking the bus and hoofing.
    What is hoofball the default system that automatically kicks in with this team FFS.

  58. workyticket says:
    March 7, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    “Never mind SJT Sammy, we still have Chuck’s guff to look forward to once he gets back from the pub. :-(”

    And guff it was, sure enough.

  59. Settling for a goalless tie, gives the advantage to Anzhi, being we have to win at home, as i doubt there will be two goalless draws.
    A dangerous game to play and i dont get it why some of the fans are happy with the situation.

  61. @
    chuck no offence bud but you talking out of what ya should be siting on dont think you would know a good result if it came along and boot ya up the butt bud

  62. Dark broon

    A better assessment than your ridiculous statement…

    ..”.we were great in midfield with some lovely short passing”…

    Yeah going nowhere !
    The idea is to put the ball in the opposition’s net, which we never looked like acomplishing.

    And that’s tough to do, when you decide to keep ten men in your own half for forty five minutes and only hoof it in the general direction of the oppositions goalie.

  64. <<<<<<<<<< this dude heres very happy with the result gives us a great chance of reaching the last 8 now

  65. The idea Chuck, is to come away with a result from one of the hardest places to play against a very expensive, skilled and well managed team.

    A plastic pitch, three of our best players not available (including Cisse). Probably our best player making his first start after a very long layoff.

    What do you want? What will make you happy? A 4-0 defeat so you can f@cking moan even more.

    And we weren’t hoofing. Pardew might actually be learning something. I doubt it, but you never know.

    I’ll take this after the sh*t sandwich we have been served up for most of this season.

  66. TOONARMYLITE

    Are you saying Perch is a better CD than Colo.
    If so you are obviously more foolish than i gave you credit for.
    And i have no doubt the majority would certainly disagree with such a ridiculous assessment.
    So do yourself a favor and deny thats what you meant.

  67. @
    chuck Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa i was on about bud, but i already know you as thick as 2 short planks bud

  69. Yes Armylite,
    but we are discussing the back four,
    Which you obviously have no idea who they were.
    Simpson Yanga- M’Biwa, Perch and Haidara, got it now ?

  70. so what ya say chuckie that Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa did not play in def lmao got it now

  72. think you will find most newcastle surporters would of snatched there hand off if they offered a draw before the game chuck bar you

  73. Uchuck says:
    March 7, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    “And that’s tough to do, when you decide to keep ten men in your own half for forty five minutes and only hoof it in the general direction of the oppositions goalie.”

    Absolute garbage from Foghorn Leghorn, as usual.

    There was very little “hoofing” if any. And there were as many attacking moves for the toon as there were for Anzhi. It was an excellent result against a good team away from home.

    You really haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about, Upchuck.

  74. workyticket says:
    March 7, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    “Here we go again, the usual exchange of verbal custard pies. :roll: ”

    Between ONE obnoxious troll and EVERYONE else, as per usual.

  75. Worky
    You are not doing me any favours though i do you a lot on here.
    What am i on about, you have helped instigating these attacks on me which are not criticisms of what i say, but merely personal insults, by the not too bright.

    Your masthead states this blog’s purpose is to promote discussion, it also mentions disperate viwpoint and bickering.
    All of which i plead gulty of and will continue to voice my opinions whether the majority agree or disagree.

    But i find stirring the pot against me, with statements like,
    ” we still have chucks guff to look forward too when he gets back from the pub”

    as unhelpful.

    It only inspire’s your acolytes to prepare themselves, not for a discussion, but only a diatribe of personal
    insults.

    Many being barely literate, who have difficulty writing a four line comment , never mind offer a valid criticism.

    I dont think thats what was intended according to your masthead, if it is then you had better correct whats there
    As a matter of fact the game started here at noon, i seldom if ever go to the pub at that time watchimg it at home instead.
    It’s getting a bit old and the blog has lost some of it’s most interesting contributers, which in turn makes it a less attractive when one recognises who they are contributing too, jerks who dont get it and for the most part, are not worth the effort involved.

  76. Upchuck says:
    March 7, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    “You are not doing me any favours though i do you a lot on here.”

    What favours do you do ANYBODY who posts here?

    “…in turn makes it a less attractive when one recognises who they are contributing too, jerks who dont get it and for the most part, are not worth the effort involved.”

    Good God, man. Just who do you think you are?

    Who, exactly, do you think enjoys being ranted at by Ernest P. Worrell on crack? Who is it that you think actually GETS SOMETHING from your ranting, drawling essays?

    That’s your main problem right there, upchuck. You actually think you’re doing people a favour with these puffed up, self-important rants.

  77. What the h*ll are Inter doing? They have hardly touched the ball. It is like watching Spurs against QPR.

  78. Great results. Im happy with the performance we’re looking better every game. id stay and.chat but i see Chucks here.

  79. I have never known anybody spout, name call and complain so much and then complain about complaining, name calling and grammar.

    There are pots and kettles wondering what is going on.

    He is like a 70 year old kid. Always wanting attention and stamping his feet.

    He wont debate me and gets nasty and abusive if he ever talks to me – exactly what he accuses others of.

    Still, I think I will stop reading what he is saying today, especially as he will say exactly the same thing tomorrow, and the next day.

  81. Just got back from Russia…..otherwise known as Banging Sammy D’s mum for a biscuit
    :lol:

  83. chuck says:
    March 7, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    “Worky
    You are not doing me any favours though i do you a lot on here.
    What am i on about, you have helped instigating these attacks on me which are not criticisms of what i say, but merely personal insults, by the not too bright.”

    You mean personal insults like this Chuck?

    “I have to laugh at all of the references to private boys schools (breeding grounds for homo-sexuality and brutality)
    Could’nt hack it at Durham eh?, then got a place at another second class boarding school, (obviously your parents wanted to get you off their hands) in which case i would’nt be too anxious to make it public.”

    or this?

    “Ermm, Worky tolorates me, even though i raise his blood pressure to an almost intolerable level at times.
    Of course he will deny it, but…
    I have to admit i get a bit bored at times and tend to press a few buttons, but it has become less fun, too easy.
    I only wish my choice of bait worked so well when fishing, could it be fish are smarter than certain humans, something to ponder.”

    So just to get this straight Chuck, it’s “fun” when you take the piss out of my health, suggest that my (now deceased) parents didn’t want me and all the other really nasty personal stuff you post about myself and others so long as it comes from you? On the other hand, if I or anyone else suggest you write “guff” on here sometimes, that isn’t fun, and it’s instigating an attack?

  84. workyticket says:
    So just to get this straight Chuck, it’s “fun” when you take the piss out of my health, suggest that my (now deceased) parents didn’t want me and all the other really nasty personal stuff you post about myself and others so long as it comes from you?
    did he really say that ?

  85. TOONARMYELITE says:
    March 8, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    “did he really say that ?”

    That’s just a part of Toon, and he once likened you to “pubic hair in the area surrounding the anus” too amongst other things, but of course, they’re not “merely personal insults.” :-)

    He’s like one of those little bullies who starts crying and runs back to his mummy the second someone has the nerve to hit him back.

  86. BTW Toon, you were likened to hair around the anus because you had the nerve to dispute his case that Cisse was offside for both of his ruled out goals against Kharkiv, and suggested that he should make an appointment with “Specsavers,” so you obviously deserved it!

  87. @
    workyticket dudes just shamefull in my opion,ok having a laugh and haveing a bit of tounge in cheek insults but when it gets really personal like what he said to you thats crossing way over the line in my opion.As for cisse being offside for both his goals against Kharkiv is just laughable to any1 that understands footie 1 was defo onside and the other was very borderline in my view and with the attacker surposedly geting the benefit of the dount then i would say both were onside meself or maybe im just looking at it with the specs i did not by from specsavers lmao

  88. TOONARMYELITE says:
    March 8, 2013 at 3:33 pm

    “@
    workyticket dudes just shamefull in my opion,”

    It doesn’t bother me that much, apart from the obvious hypocrisy when he crys like a baby about others doing it to him.

    What did bother me for some strange reason was when he started going out of his way, at the slightest pretence to make incredibly bigoted statements about anything to do with Britain or the British because he has that American exceptionalist thing ie, the United States is the greatest country ever to exist in the eyes of the United States, hence Americans like Chuck should be judged to different standards than people from other parts of the world. They can say or do what they like to anyone or anything, but should be above any sort of criticism themselves because they are a part of some kind of infallible master race.

    “The fact is there has been very little recent additions attributed to the English language from it’s birthplace England.
    Most being attributed to it’s former colony The USA.
    In which case England has been reduced to a somewhat satellite status, as opposed to being the center of the English speaking world.
    Also the fact that the USA has had a major effect on all things from business to taking over the role of the being the worlds policeman, with it’s overwhelming military strength.
    Has had it’s effect in regard to language.
    Actually quite lucky for y’all English speakers, as it was a close decision following the end of the revolutionary war , when it was decided to adapt English as opposed to German as the national language.”

    What a knob.

  89. <<<<<<<< would be very surprised if chuck had ever been to a newcastle game in his life,and would allso be surprised to find out he was really a newcastle surporter meself

  90. i dont understand why there has to be any additions to the english language.
    as far as the us is concerned, it’s not about being the worlds policeman, it’s about a country who are trying to force their own non culture, onto the rest of the world.
    dont get me wrong, i think the average american is okay, but their adminstration is evil, and they continually brainwash their people, into thinking they are free, when clearly, they are not.

    they live in a manufactured disney world of a reality, which you are okay to live in, as long as you dont disagree with them.
    if a country is free, then why is it not someones right to be a socialist, if they want to be.
    in the states you are locked up and the key thrown away, or killed, remember the mccarthy witch hunts.
    okay you might not agree with someone’s politics, but it doesn’t give anyone the right to supress one’s leanings, which happens in the good old us of a.

    i take offence at people who have tried to b*****dise our language, by inventing words like “defense” and “color”, they are not advancements, but regressions imo.

    this blog is about a sport that was invented in britain, and is played nearly everywhere in the world.
    okay it has had it’s downsides, but it has brought countries and people together.
    i doubt whether the NFL will ever have the same effect, and the same can be said for baseball.
    cricket might not be everyone’s cup of tea also, but it’s another sport, that has brought countries together, who dont have that much im common.
    americans dont have the kind of influence they like to think they have, and if anything their influence is a negative one imo.
    they are too insular and inward looking, and their brand of friendship will never have other nations thinking favourably of them, it tends to have the direct opposite effect.

    it’s not my intention to offend any americans who post on this board, like i’ve said the average american is okay, it’s just their style of government and other things that bother me.

    what my country has done over the years, has also had me being ashamed to be british, some of the attrocities, we have committed.
    so i am also critical of britain also, and not just having an anti american rant.

    it just boils my slash when you get that, we are world leaders at everything, when in reality no one gives two f**ks about what they have to say.
    every counrty looks after their own affairs, and dont take their lead from the united states ffs…

  91. <<<<<<<<<<< would not tar americans with the same brush as chuck the 1s i know are very modest and unlike chuck dont have there heads stuck up there butts :)

  92. TOONARMYELITE says:
    March 8, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    “and unlike chuck dont have there heads stuck up there butts”

    I think you mean “arses” Toon. Chuck will see your use of the more American “butts” as irrefutable proof of America’s superiority, and Joe might see it as “bastardising” our language. ;-)

  94. Lacina Traore anybody notice him last night the dudes a bit hard to miss lol

  96. TOONARMYELITE says:
    March 8, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    “Lacina Traore anybody notice him last night the dudes a bit hard to miss lol”

    I think Marveaux missed him a couple of times. The guy just walked past him – no tackle attempted!

  97. DarthBroon that dude is huge made it look like he was playing with kids beside him lol

  98. 97 TOONARMYELITE says:
    March 8, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    He certainly did :)

    He didn’t make the impact that he could have (might still do yet) but he was very sportsmanlike after a couple decisions that didn’t go his way, which always impresses me (whatever that’s worth). All handshakes and pats on the back.

  99. <<<<<<<<< thought meself he was ganna be a huge handfull in the air but they got no service to him there

  100. <<<<< also think cisse was a huge loses to us last night with him in the team we might of even won it

  101. DarthBroon says:
    March 8, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    “Is “ringpieces” all one word?”

    It’s a compound word in the dictionary (“ringpiece”). However, there’s nothing really wrong with splittng ring piece either, though you definitely wouldn’t want to split your ring piece in real life!

  103. workyticket says:
    March 8, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    “…though you definitely wouldn’t want to split your ring piece in real life!”

    I’ve got a mate who ruptured his urethra leap-frogging a standpipe in Yarm during a stag do.

    Another couple of inches…. :)