Ashley’s rolling in it

Posted on May 9th, 2011 | 65 Comments |

Mike Ashley, billionaire.
Richie Largeportions
Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley is the 52nd richest man in the UK.

According to the Sunday Times Rich List, Mike Ashley’s fortune rose by £378m last year giving him a total wealth of £1,268,000,000, which is not to be sniffed at.

The sources of his riches are his stake in Sports Direct and monies received from property deals and dividends. But not Newcastle United.

If it was all in cash and he got just 1% interest that would equate to £12,680,000 before tax every year, which would certainly keep me in Earl Grey tea even at the vast amounts I drink. Although evidently – given Mr Ashley’s £378m increase last year – there are far better places to invest ones money than greedy, good for nothing banks at 1%.

This is good news for Newcastle fans as it means that Mr Ashley will be able to put huge amounts of money into the club to buy players next season and will not be worried about losing a few million here and there. I’m sure Mr Llambias will be chipping in too.

Or possibly not.

My name was conspicuously absent from the Rich List this year due to both the global economic crisis and the fact that I have no money, but these are mere snags and I aim to be in the top 10 next year. I will of course immediately buy Newcastle United, rehire Kevin Keegan and Dennis Wise and set about building an ‘Arsenal Model’ (from Airfix).

Apparently the Duke of Northumberland, the Fenwick family, Duncan Bannatyne, Graham Wylie and ex-Police frontman Stink were also on the Rich List.

As a matter of interest, Lakshmi Mittal and family – who are in the steel business – are Britain’s richest with £17.5 billion, although they’re down by £4.9bn on last year. The various lists (Times, Forbes etc.) disagree on who’s the richest man in the world but Carlos Slim Helu – a Mexican telecoms mogul – is up there with $74bn and it’s reported that ousted Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak might be worth about $70bn too.

Remember though folks, money does not lead to happiness (although I’d like a chance to find that out first hand).

NUFCBlog Author: Hugh de Payen I'm a baby-boomer of the punk rock persuasion, currently exiled in Somerset for crimes committed in a previous life where locals keep trying to poison me with something called 'scrumpy'. Hates sprouts, coat-hangers, Cilla Black, ornaments, Steven Seagull movies and 50 Cent (he's not worth 10). Hugh de Payen has written 634 articles on this blog.

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65 Responses

  1. well im sure he could easily hand over £25m of that tidy little sum you would think!!
    heres hoping!

  5. What a fortunate fella he is and unlike the old money that’s slushing around, at least he’ll have earned it by guile and graft!

  6. I like your wit Hugh-put a smile on my face for the day-hahaha-“hes a madman your honour-a desperate fool at the end of his pitifull rope!” who sang that!-lol of course i really mean wheres the quote from? ;-o

  7. on a light note. if you were counting Fat Mick’s money pile – and it was all in £1 coins – how long do you think it would take to count it?
    if you had a big pile of coins and you picked up one with your left hand and transferred it to a big bucket with your right hand – say that took 3 seconds – then that would be £20 a minute – ie £1200 per hour. if you worked an 8 hour day (no breaks you lazy ba***ard)- thats £9600 per day ie £48,000 in a 5 day week (go on – take the weekend off).
    in my reckoning it would take 48,000 weeks. thats a f**kin long time.

  10. On reading about Ashley’s riches, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Only Newcastle United could be bought by a billionaire who is also a tight arsed git.

  11. Aye,
    at least a quid a second like.

    Although, if he was paying us for counting it, i doubt i could manage more than a quid a minute.
    :)

  12. ‘ billionaire who is also a tight arsed git ‘

    Remind me Toonie1949 how much of his money has he put into the club.

  13. Anyone notice that badge AP was sporting on satda?
    A white circle on a black background, anyone know what it meant?

  14. clint, i think it’s the new “toon army 12th man” badges we’re all gonna be getting……can’t wait eh….

  15. malchick,
    honestly?

    Just needs an ‘A’ in the middle now then.
    ;)

  16. Toonie1949 says:
    May 9, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    “Only Newcastle United could be bought by a billionaire who is also a tight arsed git.”

    Toonie, Queen’s Park Rangers are jointly owned by a multi millionaire (Flavio Briatore), a billionaire (Bernie Ecclestone) and a multi billionaire who is one of the world’s richest men (Lakshmi Mittal). After several years of ownership by these men, one of whom makes Roman Abramovich look like a pauper, they have just managed to gain promotion from the Championship, so we aren’t the only ones!

  17. worky,
    aye,
    & they’ve just been ‘let off’ by the fa for £875k too.
    ;)

  18. I see the me, me, media are having a field day on the ‘Enrique’ story(?).

  19. well the cash will keep him in pies anyway,he must possess a cast iron table at home.
    anyone seen the footage of him on youtube?where he’s dancing in a club in cambridge,it’s under the heading”so you were wondering why mike ashley was”.
    it is hilarious,saturday night fever hasn’t got a look in,not.reminds me of an embarrassing family member,strutting their stuff,at a wedding.

  20. Yeah Clint, I saw that too.

    I’ve thought he’d go for a while now – just some of the things he’s said (even given a Spanish translation of them) – but time will tell.

    It would be nice to hang onto him but if he’s the only regular first-teamer who goes I won’t complain too much.

  21. Hugh,
    the press are trying their level best to move him on, aren’t they?
    :)

    If he does go, it should be for ‘big’ money.
    We’ve trained him up for the prem.

  24. I love the way they always say: Mike Ashley may want to cash in…etc.

    Like they’d know?

    :)

    Weird how they all know what he must think, even though he never says anything?
    :)

  25. I guess that means (spuds swap deal) that spuds have no money to spend then.
    At least in the press’ little world.

    :)

  26. “ashley’s rolling in it”,well if he fell down,he’d rock himself to sleep.

  27. CLiNT FLiCK says:
    May 9, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    “I love the way they always say: Mike Ashley may want to cash in…etc.”

    Gets the fans radged, Clint.

  30. Kamar – Ashley may have put money into the club but it was no other reason than to protect his investment. My point is that he will not pay the going rate for decent players. Come the summer we will end up signing premiership loanees who are either crocked or lazy, then free agents or championship players. We may end up with one or two European players but it will take them a year to get used to the premiership as it did with Colo and Jose. Tiote is the exception not the rule, I expect he will be gone in the summer anyway, sold to the highest bidder.

    It may have escaped your notice but the sale of Carrol upset Jose and Joey, it made them both question where Ashley is taking the club.

    When I read that Carlton Cole is a target for NUFC, it makes me sick, I can only hope it is’t true.

  31. Toonie1949 says:
    May 9, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    “Tiote is the exception not the rule, I expect he will be gone in the summer anyway, sold to the highest bidder.”

    What about Ben Arfa, Toonie?

  32. Arry wants Tiote eh !
    OK gis Kranjcar, O`Hara n` Palacios n` he`s yours, along with his collection of red and yellow cards.
    Only about fourteen or fifteen to date roughly one a week not counting the games he was out.

  33. It always worries me when a manager offers a player as part of a deal (when the other manager hasn’t specifically asked for that player) as they’re usually getting shot of someone they don’t rate.

  34. cole was mentioned yonks back cos AP was at wetspam & people keep bringing it up as a ‘worst case scenario’ kinda thing.
    Funny how we don’t pick up on any positives like.
    But there ya’ gan.

    worky,
    i’ve been having a think mate & soon as i get some quality time…
    ;)

  35. Hugh,
    they paid wigan ower the odds for a player that had had half a season doing alright in the prem, from overseas.
    Typical for a power hungry team wanting to buy some success.
    It flopped this time.
    :)

  36. CLiNT FLiCK says:
    May 9, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    “cole was mentioned yonks back cos AP was at wetspam & people keep bringing it up as a ‘worst case scenario’ kinda thing.”

    That Ba gadgie they got from sausageland looks cannier, Clint. At least from what I’ve seen of him so far.

  37. Saw a utoob vid with Nolan, Tiote & HBA modeling the new kit earlier. They all looked happy with their lot at NUFC like.

  39. *If* Tiote must go (and I hope he won’t … don’t think he will actually) then AP needs to select a player he wants in part-exchange or tell ‘arry to shove the deal up his jacksy.

  40. CLiNT FLiCK says:
    May 9, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    “worky,
    i agree mate. Much better option.”

    Demba Ba, French gadgie from Hoffenheim. That’s it!

    I’d rather have Hoffenheim’s owner mind, Dietmar Hopp. He’s everything that Mike Ashley isn’t.

  41. Worky – I greatly admired HBA, what little we saw of him thanks to De Jong. I think it is a little too soon to make a proper judgement. And no-one will be praying harder that me that he is able to make a full recovery.

  42. Where do these rumors come from ?
    To think it possible that we would be interested in Konchesky is bizarre !
    As for Palacios, not a bad player, shouldda stayed at Wigan, got some nice young players, hope they survive.
    But seems like any manager who wants to let a player know he wants him, simply has it leaked to the press therefore cant be accused of tapping up the guy.
    Like that clown from Liverpool, cocerning Enrique.
    Hope the new ownership at Liverpool got lotsa dosh.
    They almost bankrupt the last two ham shanks there and looks like they want to spend a fortune to rebuild.
    Dumb asses, they should use their academy, a hotbed of footballing talent on Merseyside.
    But whadda I know ?

  43. Demba Ba, Green n` Tomkins, “if”, or should i say “when” the hammers go down, three that would fit in nicely.

  44. Amstel time in the city, with a high pressure system drifting down from our northern neighbors, with a few scattered cotton ball clouds and a comfortable low seventies temperature.
    Aint life grand !

  45. chuck,
    no way doris day to green mate, terrible ‘keeper, why d’y’think they’re down there?

    A nice warm 80 in sunny London mate.
    Enjoy!
    ;)

  46. chuck,
    the press just put 2 & 2 together & get 22 mate, with regard to konchesky etc.

  47. Toonie1949 says:
    May 9, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    “Worky – I greatly admired HBA, what little we saw of him thanks to De Jong. I think it is a little too soon to make a proper judgement. And no-one will be praying harder that me that he is able to make a full recovery.”

    Toonie, from what I saw of him playing with Marselles and France, he was a magnificent talent, and a player who has been ranked alongside the likes of Ribéry and Benzema as one of France’s top future players. I only hope that his leg breaks haven’t taken any of thet away from him.

  48. chuck says:
    May 9, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    “Where do these rumors come from ?
    To think it possible that we would be interested in Konchesky is bizarre !”

    Chuck, he’s a left back like Enrique, it’s thought that Liverpool might want rid, a rabid English football hack puts two and two together and so on…

  49. HBA should be all fixed & ready to rock next season.
    He could be pivotal in keeping the likes of Tiote here, as a fellow francophone.

  50. worky,
    aye, the press like nice little easy patterns of buy/sell.
    ;)

  54. worky,
    aye i did mate, back at 34.

    You musta missed that.
    :)

    Just need a bit quality time to get it done mate.

  57. It was tucked away in another post mate, sorry.

    Just had ‘one of them weekends’ where everything gets in the way.

  58. Anyone see that pathetic attempt to ‘have a dig’ at our ‘away shirt’ today?
    It turned out to be the ‘keepers top.
    So in their haste to take the piss the joke is on them well & truly this time, for all to see.
    :)
    Wonder if we’ll get an apology?
    :)

    NA!

  60. worky,
    it’s a classic example of their BS (gone wrong).
    & why fans should pay them no heed – EVER!
    :)
    I can’t be arsed to gan radged mate.
    It has to be way less important for that to happen.
    :)

  61. CLiNT FLiCK says:
    May 9, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    “I can’t be arsed to gan radged mate.”

    Admit it, yer up a height about ’em man! :-)

  64. Agree Worky and Toonie hope Ben Arfa comes back the same player as he was before the injury or even better (wishful thinking).

  65. Just been reading newsnow

    Spuds are to tempt the Toon with Palicios plus £8m.

    Wouldn’t sell ! We need to keep him.