The worst Newcastle United performance I’ve ever seen [updated].
Posted on July 25th, 2009 | 13 Comments |
It only took four minutes for Leyton to score, when woeful set-piece marking led to a fairly easy header from Leyton’s Jimmy Smith. “OK” I rationalised to myself, “the lads haven’t woken up yet, it’s only a friendly and now they’re a goal down, they’ll respond, the class will tell in the fullness of time etc etc. A distinct chance by Beye after around a quarter of an hour offered some hope, However, time moved on and Leyton were still generally the dominant force when they were awarded a penalty in the 23rd minute. Adrian Patulea had Beye under great pressure in the box, where he eventually handled the ball (according to the ref he did anyway), and the spot was pointed to. Ex Sunderland player, Sean Thornton, whose free kick had led to the first goal, converted well. Ever the optimist, a famous ‘Keeganism’ came to mind at this point, “The good news for Nigeria is that they’re two-nil down very early in the game”.
Newcastle did start to rally a little and at the half hour point, Obafemi Martins’ pace managed to win another penalty after he was tripped in their box at the half hour point. Barton converted and a spell of genuine pressure did ensue, a bit, forcing several saves from the O’s Jamie Jones, most notably from Nolan and a typical Steven Taylor attacking raid. While Nolan forced a bit of a canny save, Taylor’s effort just went straight at the goalkeeper.
Half time intervened and after the break, things didn’t look too bad for the first few minutes. A decent right side raid by Gutierrez had potential, but the resulting pass was cracked over the post by Xisco. At this point it genuinely looked as if Newcastle could possibly work their way back into the game, and perhaps scrape something back form what was certainly a very disapointing perfomance, even at this stage. Then, things rapidly went from bad to worse, and the real carnage began.
It has to be said that John Melligan’s third goal for the O’s was a sight to behold, a stunning overhead rocket which completely knocked the stuffing out of United’s resistance plans. From this point, Leyton were just penetrating at will, and I can honestly say that I witnessed perhaps the most hapless, demoralising passage of play I have witnessed in my many years as a Toon supporter. It must have taken Leyton a whole two minutes to crack off another one, this time a McGleish header falling nicely for Mkwandire to slot home. My Arsenal supporting companion’s sarcasm really started to go into over drive at this point. The final two goals from Orient, by Jarvis and Baker respectively went like a blur. I was completely ‘punchdrunk’ by this point.
Some of the bairns trotted out for the last few minutes, and things actually improved a little with the injection of new blood, however the damage was already done.
Other observations:
As the game progressed, general encouragement started to descend into much negative chantage. “If you hate Mike Ashley stand up / clap your hands etc alternating with “There’s only one Alan Shearer” was the order of the day mostly, once the truly abject nature of Newcastle’s performance began to sink in. Captain Smith was heckled along the lines of “Yer sh*te! Do One!”
Postscript
Our caretaker manager, Chris Hughton was right to decribe the game in the post match interview as “Disappointing and embarrassing” , with Colloccini, Enrique and Nolan being the worst of a throughly bad bunch. Only perhaps Beye and Martins came out of the game with any credit, with Gutierrez, Duff and Taylor, and perhaps Carroll (after he came on) being the best of the rest in a truly awful display.
Further quotes from Hughton on the game included:
“We didn’t win and we didn’t perform.”
and
“There are ups and downs in football and this was very much a down.”
It certainly was.
Newcastle United: Krul (Forster, 46); Beye (Tozer, 80), S Taylor (Lough, 80), Coloccini (Geremi, 46), Enrique (Kadar, 73); Gutierrez, Barton (Xisco, 46), Smith (Guthrie, 60), Duff (LuaLua, 73); Nolan; Martins (Carroll, 46). Subs not used: Donaldson, Ngo Baheng.
Leyton Orient: Jones, Purches, Chorley, Mkandawire, Melligan, Thornton, Demetriou, Daniels, Smith, Scowcroft, Patulea. Subs: Morris, Ashworth, Gilbert, McGleish, Jarvis, Cave-Brown, Pires, Baker, Sydes, Hall.
Goals: Smith 4, Thornton pen 23, Barton pen 30, McGleish 52, Mkandawire 53, Jarvis 82, Baker 86
Bookings: None
Sent off: None
Referee: Jarnail Singh (Hounslow)
Attendance: 3,615
Match lowlights here and here. (Youtube)
NUFCBlog Author: workyticket
workyticket has written 1095 articles on this blog.
Just watched the highlights, our boys took a hell of a beating.
My worst fears are being realised, we’re not even good enough for the 2nd and 3rd tiers. We may consolidate but it could get pretty hairy. Nobody looks interested do they?
I thought Forster’s positioning was poor for a couple of goals including the overhead kick but to be fair, with a defence looking more interested in getting the first round in, you’d probably look out of sorts.