Archive for tag: Chelsea.

Nile Ranger: Gangster Extraordinaire

May 16th, 2011 | 65 Comments |

Ranger prepares to shoot
Ranger prepares to shoot
As a striker, young Nile Ranger hasn’t been the best at hitting the target so on that logic I think this is a story that has been blown way out of proportion. When he shoots, he often misses, gaining him the appropriately affectionate nickname of “Nil Ranger”.

Jokes aside, the above is a new picture leaked to the Sun who of course paint Nile Ranger as a hitman for the Wallsend Mafia.

NEWCASTLE United star Nile Ranger was quizzed by club officials yesterday after he posed “like a gangster” with a GUN.

Pardon me if this post is a little messy in places; it’s difficult to organise your thoughts when you’re in fits of laughter.

If you manage to read beyond the above quote without any kind of fluid pouring out of your nose, you’ll find out that it is in fact a replica firearm that was being carried about for whatever reason, presumably in public.

What’s missing from the article is that Nile was at his girlfriends house and they had a few friends over and one of the silly Southerners pulled out the replica gun and everybody decided that they wanted to hold the magical chrome plated object. Of course the gun came to Nile, whose girlfriend is aroused by men with guns and she took a picture. (more…)

Nolan and Harper to miss the rest of the season.

May 12th, 2011 | 35 Comments |

Kevin Nolan.
Ankle injury requires surgery.
At the holy ground of St. James Park it’s always been a case of “it never rains but it pours”, which is of course the shortened version. The full idiom is “it never rains but it pours toxic waste with the occasional sharp object thrown in to further increase damage.” Not even joking.

Our long standing goalkeeper Steve Harper has already decided to stay on the bench in favour of giving young Tim Krul a chance to impress between the sticks and so far the young Dutchman has done exactly that, and long may it continue! Newcastle United may lack depth in other areas, we have a wealth of gold in our goalkeepers and have done for many years but now it seems it’s time for that young gold to start shining as Ole Soderberg will be on the bench for the important game against Chelsea this coming Sunday. (more…)

Carroll has no intention of leaving Newcastle.

July 4th, 2010 | 167 Comments |

Carroll: More committed than ever.
Carroll: More committed than ever.
Hot on the heels of all the earlier talk about new contracts and the like, Andy Carroll appears to be giving out a lesson in how to scotch press rumours.

It isn’t the first time that Carroll has turned tubthumper for The Toon, and he has intimated several times before that he doesn’t want to leave Newcastle.

The speculation continued though, with moves to Stoke and Birmingham being lined up by the press, aswell as those farcical rumours that Carroll was being eyed by Chelsea as a replacement for Didier Drogba. I mean, he is highly rated, but the reporter who suggested that must have stuck in the office with the superglue on that particular day. (more…)

Toon go Dutch for Chelsea left back!

January 29th, 2010 | 88 Comments |

Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side!
Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side!
Where will it all end? Newcastle United are making doubtful fans well and truly eat their words as yet another recruit signs on the dotted line. Chelsea’s young Dutch full back Patrick van Aanholt, is the newest loanee joining us initially on a one-month loan deal.

It would seem like this signals that Enrique could be knackered for at least a few weeks, after suffering what we hope is only a strain to his hamstring and nothing worse. van Aanholt was part of the Coventry side when we beat them at the Ricoh Arena in December and has spent the season on loan there so far.

According to reports, he’s been a regular for the Sky Blues and is also an international team-mate of Tim Krul, having played in the same Dutch U21 side. The highly-rated full back could well make his debut in our televised game with Leicester City tomorrow.