Why Carver’s Newcastle is the worst Newcastle team in the Premier League ever

Posted on May 23rd, 2015 | 29 Comments |

Carver: The crisis continues
Carver: The crisis continues
Of course, if you are a Newcastle United fan, you cannot fail to have noticed the huge dip in form under John Carver, which has been so bad it could still see the Magpies relegated for the second time in six seasons after their final game against West Ham tomorrow. But how bad has it really been?

Worse than Alan Shearer and Iain Dowie’s catastrophic eight games in charge when the club were relegated in 2009.

As bad as the team were back then, they were better than the current side, winning an average of 0.62 points per game under Shearer. This compares against Carver’s 0.5 points in his games. Where Shearer got at least one win in those eight games, the current side managed to lose eight in a row, the worst losing streak since PE teacher Richard Dinnis led the side to 10 consecutive defeats in 1977. However unlike Carver, Dinnis actually had a very good spell with the club, finishing fifth in the old First Division and qualifying for the UEFA Cup as Caretaker Manager in the previous season.

Worse than nearly all the teams who have been relegated from the Premier League

If Carver’s form was spread over a whole season of 38 games, Newcastle would only have 19 points now, about the same as the third worst Premier League finish ever, 19 by Sunderland in 2003. Even if the side finish the season on a win, Carver’s record would still be only be about the same as that of Shearer and Dowie (0.65 points per game). If that form was extended over a season, it would only amount to 24-25 points and once again, an awful total that would mean certain relegation. To put it into perspective, even the two worst teams this season, QPR and Burnley have managed 30 this season with one game still to play.

The case for the defence

Much criticism has been pointed at the defence for the late season fiasco, and indeed it’s true that Newcastle United have the second highest goals against in the Premier League this season with 63. HOWEVER, in defence of the defence, Carver’s record for letting in goals has actually been significantly better than it was with Pardew earlier in the season. The 30 goals conceeded by Carver’s 19 games would translate to only 58 goals in 37 games, not 63 as it actually is. Hence, the defence has actually improved from earlier in the season. Even Tottenham have let in 53 so far this season.

No, as far as the really bad form goes, the problem for Carver has definitely been more at the other end. Without Cisse for most of the time, Newcastle’s attack has been absolutely pitiful, with only 0.72 goals per game to 1.5 against. Newcastle’s poor attacking play under Carver has also had repercussions for the defence. Misfiring attacks have turned all to quickly into counter attacks, leaving the side on the backfoot for much of the game. Without denying that the defence have made blunders under Carver this season, they have been under the kind of pressure which would make most teams’ defences make more mistakes on average. Under those circumstances, the defence still hasn’t been great, but with such a hopeless attack leaving the team almost permanently up against it, it could have been even worse.

We shouldn’t blame Carver though, it’s hard to blame him for taking the job. The blame for our previous relegation, a 16th didn’t lie with him. The blame for that and possible relegation again lies with Ashley himself for a series of ridiculous appointments in the most senior positions at the club, Manager and Managing Director. If you keep appointing people who are compleltely out of their depth to save money, it isn’t their fault.

Having written all that, here’s hoping for a win against West Ham, and that Geordie Special Agent, Steve Bruce comes though for us once again!

NUFCBlog Author: workyticket workyticket has written 1092 articles on this blog.

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29 Responses

  1. There’s truth to the fact it’s not entirely Carver fault, I’m not letting him off the hook though, as his efforts both as a tactician and a responsible person in charge were for the most part woeful.

    Letting anger and frustration dictate his behavior, the result of which will become obvious as I doubt his tenure will last much beyond he final game on Sunday.

    As for his future employment prospects, it’s doubtful any PL side would now hire him, the best I can see, is a job with a lower league side, but he was given his opportunity and failed.

    Following Pardew’s quick duck out the back door on his way to Palace, I had thought perhaps there could be an improvement both tactically and by letting the flair players off the leash, which would both raise the entertainment value and hopefully gain a few positive results.

    It seemed to be working for the first few games, except for the positive results, then I guess frustration set in and face it, he had neither the answers nor the horses.

    On examination, it’s mostly about the lack of quality in the squad, it still belies belief that we would get rid of what were our top players, blame has to be jointly shared by Pardew, the selling off of players who had no place in his tactical plan and with Ashley who probably thought why am I paying top earning players to sit on the bench.

    As for Santons release, I just don’t get it, gotta be about money.

    It was the blind leading the blind, Pardew believing he was the best manager in the league (as did his protégé)with his psychobabble from self help books and an outdated tactical approach.

    Ashley in turns believing that he could change the way a football club operated, which was and probably is still his belief (hard to change a hard wired policy).

    Fact is the club was run by Ashley, who had the final say on everything, though he knew next to nothing about football, there was division and hard feelings between Carr and Pardew, one who found (on ashleys orders) cheap youngsters with certain potential, which for the most part were not wanted by Pardew, as a consequence Joe was brought in to settle the dispute, but only added fuel to the fire, it made the club the laughing stock of football.

    Regardless Ashley continued and will probably stick with his overall plan, to run the club in the same manner, that of his retail business, wilfully disregarding the evidence he faces.

    Hopefully his intransigence will become apparent, if it already hasn’t and he will realize successful clubs are
    well managed sides and you get what you pay for.

    On the other hand if it’s a question of will’s his against the worlds, then the club is in danger.

    This is not only my opinion, I read to-day where the BBC’s result’s predictor Mark Lawrenson stated, if people want to look at how NOT to run a club that’s NUFC.

  2. no nice way to put this carver sucks simple as that, could do a better job than him meself

  3. Keegan gets stuck into Ashley again:


    Keegan’s on from 37 minutes and he gets on to Newcastle at 46.52. Another thing he said was that Ashley was either going to buy Newcastle United or Leeds United. At the end, he was put on the spot about whether Newcastle would be saved from relegation and he gave an emphatic “Yes!” When they do that with Keegan, the opposite usually happens. Everyone else seems to have a funny feeling in their water that Hull will beat Manchester United and Newcastle will lose. There’s such an air of impending catastrophe about Newcastle United at the moment.

  4. The caption to that video:

    “Mike Ashley has vowed to remain as the Newcastle owner despite RECENT criticism from the fans of the club. Speaking to Sky Sports, Ashley said his main aim is to win a trophy.”


  5. What Mike Ashley didn’t say was within what time limit that particular piece of silverware would be won.

    And will any of the crap cups that are presently being avoided by most PL sides be included, but he did say I believe, qualification for the champions league would be considered on par with a cup win.

    Yeah , when pigs can fly, so keep on buying those season tickets folks, good times are on the way.

  6. Who’s the new little bald gadgie with spectacles sitting next to Ashley? He’s like a mini Lee Charnley and he’s very touchy feely with Ashley, cuddling him and stroking him alot. Is he the replacement for Irving or whatever he was called? Is Ashley breeding them?

    Aye up, here comes the son of Rob Lee. It would be typical if he scored and got us relegated.

  7. Well that was a relief. Well done Gutierrez and Sissoko and we didn’t even have to rely on agent Bruce. After all that, we’ve ended up 15th, one better than that really bad season with Pardew.

  8. Absolutely. God Bless Jonas Gutierrez.

    It’d be nice if they gave him another short-term contract. He’s a proper utility player and I reckon he’d be useful in any EPL team.

  9. An emotion filled game, well worth the watch though against a Hammers side with nothing to play for, who for the most part looked disinterested.

    And yes, both Sissoko and Janmaat were terrific.

    Felt a bit sorry for Anita, but shit happens.

    Cisse’s header was well taken and who can’t feel good about the seldom scoring Jonas’ goal, in a probable career ending game on Tyneside.

    At least the side took care of their own destiny and didn’t rely on MU to do them any favors.

    Soh ! hurry up there are still season tickets left for the 15/16 season, where we will probably qualify for the Champions League, after “Wor Mike” spends those millions he mentioned, he having seen the light, yeah right !

    What he actually meant was, I don’t ever want to repeat the possibility of losing those enormous revenue flows, that come with membership in the worlds wealthiest league and go through the struggle of rebounding from the second tier, after all who will see my SD signs if we are not been shown on tv at an international level.

  10. Oop’s! meant Sissoko’s not Cisse’s goal.

    If we loose both Janmaat and Sissoko, during the summer window, all bets are off.

  11. Wor Mike, also mentioned he has nowt to do with the appointment of managers and that Llambias was responsible for bringing Pardew to the club.

    Being Llambias was responsible for the cold ass firing of Hughton, perhaps he’s not lying.

    He may very well not choose the next manager, but is responsible for promoting the little pudgie guy, who does, which is worse.

    When will he employ someone in the GM role with a track record, instead of some pencil sharpener who’s only qualification is twenty years as a nobody at the club, I mean is this any way to run a football club.

    Yeah his denial of responsibility sounds great, question is how many believe it ?

  12. chuck says:
    May 24, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    “Wor Mike, also mentioned he has nowt to do with the appointment of managers and that Llambias was responsible for bringing Pardew to the club.

    “Being Llambias was responsible for the cold ass firing of Hughton, perhaps he’s not lying.”

    Chuck, that was spilled by Llambias himself ages ago. I think Pardew was having one of his good spells and Llambias was anxious that he got full credit for bringing the Silver Supremo to SJP. He said he used to took the family to see West Ham and was impressed by Pardew, so he gave him the job when he got rid of Hughton.

    I don’t see much joy out there on this momentous day when we escaped relegation (again). Isn’t it more fun narrowly avoiding relegation at the end of the season than the heartache of the old days, when we’d suffer the bitter dissapointment of coming second in the league, or losing the FA Cup final?

  13. It seems KK and I are on the same page, his advice to Ashley was to hire a management team with a track record, to discontinue the policy of selling our best players and hire “The Great Dane” (which I never called for, but have no objection too) who plays in his opinion an entertaining style of football, beloved to Newcastle fans.

    From the beginning KK stated that neither Ashley nor Llambias knew jack about the game, it would seem to me if you were investing over a hundred million quid in any business, you would behoove you to hire the best possible management team to run it.

    Not some cheap-ass semi-wise guy from the floor of a gambling casino, who knew even less than you did about the business, but what do I know about how Ashley thinks.

    It appears if the man is being honest, how come such a smart businessman took seven years to realize how little he knows about managing a football club.

    Anyway at this point who really cares anymore, being the fans have become enured to him and his decisions.

    It’s going to take a lot of investment and a step backward on Ashley’s part before we will see any improvement in this side, that and the hiring of a DOF who can work with both Carr and whoever is chosen for the head coach job as a coherent trio.

    And yes yesterdays game probably got more attention than most, due to the significance of the situation, but that’s in no way the best plan to gain annual attention to the SD billboards.

    Better the policies of the KK era, when everyone’s second team was NUFC, due to their entertaining style of football, that’s what’s needed, if you want the tv audiences attention at St.James’Park, with it’s plethora of cheap-looking SD advertising boards.

    Without those changes, it will be business as usual.

    Do I trust Ashley to bring about the necessary changes?

    Whadda you think ?

  14. One more thing, it appears Carver still remains in a delusional mind set, that of believing he is still in the running for the head coach job, even following all that happened.

    He may very well continue as an employee at the club, but surely he must realize by now, he would be lucky to get a coaching job at Gateshead or Bishop Auckland.

    It must be apparent to Ashley (or maybe not) that the decision as to who will be head coach is of he highest priority, both for reasons of rebuilding, concerning the who’s and wherefores.

    Being it’s all important that the man who is about to be in charge of the side, aught to have a major choice in the who’s and why’s, being that was a major bone of contention between Pardew and Carr, the remnants of that problem still remaining with us.

    But puleez ! no Steve McClaren’s or other retreads, take a chance on someone the like’s of a “Potchetino”, “The Prince of Denmark”, even “Rodger” if he’s fired, but don’t dig into the rag-bag of retread’s like Mcclaren, give the fans a bit of hope.

  15. They really should be selling tickets for this and putting it on cable. Ashley’s forced a general meeting at Rangers to make the new regime explain themselves on a number of corporate issues. So, they’re are going to retaliate by bringing out the full dirt on all Ashley’s dodgy deals with Rangers at the same meeting. :-)


    ps One little titbit – If Rangers want to cancel their deal with Sports Direct, the period of notice is SEVEN YEARS.


  16. Yeah, been watching that, It’s my belief Ashley could get some negative and unwelcome publicity from this particular situation which in turn could spill over to his main business SD.

    The recent poor run of NUFC in the EPL and it’s subsequent relegation avoidance battle has spotlighted both he and his negative relationship with NUFC fans, who in turn had retaliated by demonstrating outside some SD outlets.

    The more recent incident’s in the Glasgow area in regard to his deals with the cash strapped former Scottish giants Rangers and the laying off of workers at a SD related firm there, has again brought him under the same spot-light, in a negative manner.

    I would suggest he cut ties with Rangers and employs his PR team in an attempt to save face and act either contrite as he did recently to the NUFC fans, or suggest he was only trying to help a struggling side.

    Otherwise it could mushroom into a major expose by the tabloid’s always seeking new scandals and one knows how they can slant the truth, with screaming headlines.

    Yes, i’m afraid his predatory ventures into the worlds game has not gone as smoothly as projected, which in turn could have an overall effect on his major business, being all it takes is for him to be seen as someone taking advantage of his workers and customers, whether true or otherwise.

    Ah well,the saga continues !

  17. The striker I wanted Newcastle United to sign from Brugge for a few million when we played them in the Europa League, Carlos Bacca, has just won the Europa league for Sevilla. He scored two goals including a really special one. After Sevilla signed him when he was cheaper, he became one of Spain’s top strikers and his value skyrocketed.

    Hats off to the Yanks for once, for having those FIFA bigwigs moved by the Swiss cops from a £1000+ per night hotel to a jail cell! :-) They were definitely using the right terminology to describe them for a change too, extortion, racketeering, graft, big mafia family etc…

    Chuck, you’re not Chuck Blazer, are you? :-)

  18. You’re forgetting something fairly obvious, worky.

    If he’d been stupid enough to come to us (and if Brugge had been stupid enough to take a few hundred grand and a load of Shorts Direct vouchers) we’d have sold him the moment he started making a difference.

  19. Darth, I said we should sign him before he went to Sevilla, who eventully bought him off Brugge for 7 million euros. he’s a £20million+ player now, like Wilf Bony and Memphis Depay, two more of my signing suggestions to Graham ‘Fatty Man’ Carr.

  20. What good is that to us, worky?

    We’ve seen enough of Ashley’s daft speculation in the transfer market in the last eight years (no point him blaming Charnley, Llambias or even Kinnear for a policy that’s obviously his, and his alone).

    He needs to start buying-to-build-a-team.

    This ‘buy cheap sell big’ crap is the first thing that needs to stop if we’re ever going to win anything.

  21. Personally, I wasn’t impressed with a single thing Ashley said in the interview with SKY. And I’m appalled that he’ll apparently be staying around “until we win something”. The cheeky fukka :(

    All that was missing from that interview was some comment to the effect of “that’s what I’ve been trying to do all along”. He promised nothing specific. Nothing new.

    It was all flannel. Clumsy PR Bu||sh|t.

    If I’m wrong, and the last eight years turn out to have been nothing more than a big misunderstanding, I’ll be happy to apologise at the end of next season.

  22. “I will continue investing in the football club” says it all really.

    You can see why he tries to keep away from the public eye when he tries to do an interview in front of a camera. He’s absolutely awful.

  23. Moi Blazer ? nah !

    I see where Blatter got re-elected again and unless there is any direct relationship to a crime committed in or related to the US, none of his accomplices will do a day of time either.

    We all or most of us should be aware of the Swiss attitude, towards tax evasion and looking after criminal enterprises as long as they get a piece of the action.

    Just look at how they profited from WW2, despicable bunch of sanctimonious thieves, who’s only interest is self interest.

    It’s about time that the European leagues and the owners involved stepped away from both UEFA and FIFA and organized a separate union, both those mentioned being nothing but criminal enterprises.

  24. I gotta say that NUFC is such a well run organization, they have as yet no clue as to who will be the next Heed Coach, someone who should have on their list months ago, with two or three alternates if it didn’t work out.

    But here we are still dithering about, feeding the fans with names they have no intention of signing, same shit with players, it will come down to bringing in McClaren and keeping Carver (hes got a lotta time left on his stupid contract)

    Once again, the blind leading the blind, because they are willing to say YES and smile while they do it.

    A bunch of free agents, mostly youngsters , plus a few could bee’s from the championship and a coulpa decent players, hopefully defenders, if we are lucky.

    Ya gotta laugh, when Ashley gives his contrite i’m gonna be here till we win summat line, how everyone quiets down and once again reverts to type, hoping he will spring for some decent players and really go for something, like he really care’s.

    My advice is never buy a pig in a poke, value for money, buy the players and the fans will in turn, buy the tickets, nowt ventured nowt gained.

  25. chuck says:
    May 29, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    “We all or most of us should be aware of the Swiss attitude, towards tax evasion and looking after criminal enterprises as long as they get a piece of the action.

    “Just look at how they profited from WW2, despicable bunch of sanctimonious thieves, who’s only interest is self interest.”

    Chuck, that’s an unfair generalisation, it’s like saying that all New Yorkers are rapacious bankers who ruined the world. No one profited more from WW2 than the US anyway, apart from Stalin. It’s what propelled the US to its military, scientific and financial domninance of the late 20thC. It was a Nazi who put the men on the moon.

  26. It may be a generalization, but there is more truth to it than your assumption, that WW2 and German brains made the US a world leader.

    Yes indeed it was WW2 that brought the US out of the great depression and made it the worlds arsenal.

    But this was a natural progression of events, the US never declared war on any nation until attacked or having war declared on them first, it was the axis nations that both attacked the US and declared war on the US,

    And in case you don’t remember, Britain was responsible for declaring war on Germany, not only in WW 2 but is also considered by many for being responsible for WW1.

    The fact the US ended up following the wars end with a powerful armed force and used German brainpower (as did Britain and Russia) has little to do with Switzerland, “a straw man argument” but if you must…

    Had it not been for the roles of the US in both WWars, saving Britain’s ass and assuming their role as the worlds leading trading and military policeman, a role they quite easily could have began following WW1, but refused until it was thrust upon them following WW2, Britain having become exhausted and broke, with it’s Empire already beginning to crack apart.

    Something you Brits have never forgiven us for, but it was only a natural political progression and not one that has always been handled well, not that the Brit’s were any better, remember they invented the concentration camp and were responsible for numerous atrocities, during the so called Pax Britannica.

    Well like it or not it has been Pax Americana since the end of WW2 and remains so till to-day

    As for the Swiss, another generalization, they are a dour, humorless bunch, dedicated to mercantilism, bankers , watchmakers etc. and you are welcome to them.