Magpies take a tricky Toffee trip: Newcastle United vs Everton mega-match preview

38 Responses

1. I’ve often wondered about the note writing by managers, what are they actually writing, a little competition here worky?

   I could imagine him putting, “Oh sh!t, what do I do now ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

2. Also are we the team who most other clubs fans would be least bothered if we were relegated. I reckon we possibly used to be most fans second most popular club but recent years have seen us slide down the popularity stakes thanks to many reasons partially management and partially (sorry but I feel it is true) down to us.

3. Grumpy Old-Toon says:
   September 29, 2013 at 3:20 pm

   “Also are we the team who most other clubs fans would be least bothered if we were relegated. I reckon we possibly used to be most fans second most popular club but recent years have seen us slide down the popularity stakes thanks to many reasons partially management and partially (sorry but I feel it is true) down to us.”

   I think both are true, and I also think that the seeds of our current unpopularity lies in the days when we were referred to as ‘everybody’s second team’ or whatever it was. Back in those days, John Hall was carrying on like a Geordie Slobodan Milosevic or Radovan Karadzic with all that Geordie nationalist crap about the Geordie Nation whipping the half-wits into a frenzy. It turned them into rather arrogant, odious self righteous creatures who developed a chip on their shoulder when it all went tits up.

   We didn’t used to be like that.

4. We need a win tomorrow and we will be in the top half just in time for the un-winnable games.

   On a positive note Sunderland are still bottom and are looking the relegation team.

5. Phisix says:
   September 29, 2013 at 7:45 pm

   “On a positive note Sunderland are still bottom and are looking the relegation team.”

   Alot could change for Blunderland in the next few months though, Phisix. Remember Spurs when they were bottom of the league with two points when Ramos was sacked? Droopy came in, they finsihed in eighth and qualified for the Champions League the next season.

6. True, but Sunderland does not have a squad as Spurs had even then.

7. Yes, It is true to say, Geordie’s are now as popular as a “Pox Doctor’s Clerk”.
   Personally i think there is a bit of jealousy involved in the name calling.
   With People like “Ant & Dec” and “Cheryl Cole” doing well in recent times, The knives are out!
   We do have a unique identity and culture, But Lucifer himself, “Sir John Hall”, Did do for us, With his “Geordie Nation” crap!
   Also Tawdry crap like “Geordie Shore” & “Shop Life”, Are currently making us look like a bunch of tank top wearing, “Tango men” & drunkards to boot!

   Summed up by Noel Gallagher when asked about whether he thought Geordie’s were a nation of people, He retorted, “Geordie’s are a selection fat people, Crying on M.O.T.D”!

8. I’d just like to add my two cent’s to this discussion.
   Namely Geordies do themselves no favors, by continuing to project that dumbass image.
   The “Georgie Shore” image.
   Plus that of fat men and women, wearing scanty clothing, during the winter, in one of the coldest places in the country,in order to portray an image of toughness.
   And this is not something recent, I recall a comedian, who during the late seventies, portrayed a Geordie, who was dead tuff, smoked five tabs at a time, so its an old self image.
   Time to dump it, as it only confirms people’s image of them, as being idiots.
   Which of course is nonsense, no truer than your neighbors and sometimes relatives a few miles doon the coast, being scum or any other name used.
   Simply because they have the audacity to support their own side.
   Nonsense !

9. I wouldn’t lend any credence to anything Gallagher says, him and his knuckle-dragging brother have had a chip on their hunchbacks about the toon since the infamous riverside gig. and liam did get his monkey arse kicked-in by geordies that night. i was there.

   i don’t accept that we were ever ‘the nation’s 2nd team’ or whatever, i believe that was a media construct which, like a lot of what is written by the southern media about newcastle, based on the flimsiest of notions.

   i was in the first year of my degree in nottingham during the ‘entertainers’season. my friends were, spurs, villa, wba, birmingham x3, burnley, forest, leicester & derby fans. NOT ONE of them considered Newcastle to be their 2nd team. they enjoyed watching us, but the idea that they gave more than a passing fuck about us is fanciful to say the least.

   if anything, there was a considerable amount of ABU (anyone but (manchester) united) and perhaps we were turned upon because there was a perception that we’d let everyone else down by blowing the title?

   there was also keegan’s meltdown and the knowledge that he was bottler with limited tactical awareness. plus an insane former-mackem loving chairman who thought what the region needed was a sporting club akin to barcelona. talk about fucking priorities.

   i also think there’s something in what joe says about the general perception of the city suffering from over-exposure.

10. And Oh !
    I watched the L’Pool. vs S’Land. game, it was a good game and the score was anything but a true reflection of play.
    In which case I am going to project they will beat relegation this year, if they continue to put as much effort into the remaining games.
    I’m not sure about Ball as a candidate, but if they get someone decent to manage them, who knows.
    Certainly Poyet sounds a decent choice as does Fergusons ex first team coach Muelensteen, but hopefully Ellis will not consider either Mcclaren or Pulis, which would be a step backward imo.

    Plus a nice deserved win for our ex manager Chris Hughton,
    taking all three points to day.

11. @chuck

    most stereotypes have their foundation in the truth. most scousers think that they’re hilarious, most yorkshiremen are dour and humourless, most brummies sound so thick you wouldn’t trust them to wire a plug, all cockneys are utter wankers etc.

12. As for Newcastle being unpopular with fans of other clubs, I doubt if that’s true, but I certainly find not too many have much good to say concerning our grey supremo.
    I believe the success under KK and the style of attacking football was what they appreciated and of course so did we.
    Ah well nothing last’s forever and there is still a chance that Ashley may have an epiphany in the near future and call the guy a one way taxi.

13. chump says:
    September 29, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    “Plus that of fat men and women…”

    This from a seppo :lol:

    You really wanna trade ugly stereotypes again, Major Kong?

14. Now now, let’s not start throwing our toys at each other across the Atlantic again chaps. But yes Darth, if we’re dealing in stereotypes, there is a bit of the pot calling the kettle black in Chuck’s remarks about Geordies being fat and stupid there! :lol: We British as a whole are now second in the whole world on the fat bastard scale. I recall we passed the sausage munching Krauts some time ago to be the fattest in Europe after the American fast food chains became very established over here, though of course, the Yanks are still in another galaxy on that front.

    Anyway, in other news, inspired by members of the NUFC board saying Sports Direct only takes up unused advertising space at SJP, and also Newcastle United’s lousy commercial revenue figures, I did a little number crunching and research.

    Referring to figures from other clubs and looking at other revenue streams for the club, I estimate that as per Newcastle United’s last published accounts, the club is only getting just over half the commercial revenue it should be. According to my research, we should be getting around £25 million per season in total when we are actually getting only £13.8 million.

    Also, despite getting the third highest attendances in the Premier League, our matchday revenue as a percentage of total turnover is exactly the same as the average for the whole Premier League.

    Of all the top twenty richest clubs in term of turnover where we are now 20th, Newcastle United were the second most reliant on broadcasting revenue behind Internazionale.

15. chuck says:
    September 29, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    “I recall a comedian, who during the late seventies, portrayed a Geordie, who was dead tuff, smoked five tabs at a time, so its an old self image.”

    Chuck, did he usually start off with “I am so hard I …”

    If it’s the same one I divven’t knaa how the f**k you remember him as I don’t think anyone over here remembers him apart from me.

16. Worky

    Yeah that’s the guy, another part of his spiel was, “has your mother got a sewing machine”, (boom ! implies a head butt) “then tell her to put a few stitches in that”.
    Apart from his stereotypical insults, the guy was actually quite funny.

    Strange how certain memories stay with you, I was living in London at the time and possibly only remember because of how it related to Tyneside.

    And Darth i’m not implying that Geordies are either daft or fat.
    But the stereotype is there, and is reinforced by certain overweight fans, who strip off their shirts at games.
    Look the same thing happens at US football games, not just St. James’ Park, same idiot’s, different venue.

17. Chuck, there’s been the Viz comic strip ‘Biffa Bacon’ and the Bacon family since that, not to mention other Geordie Viz characters such as ‘Sid the sexist’ and ‘8 Ace’ to keep the Geprdie stereotypes gannin’.

18. A very interesting read about Newcastle United’s hugely different Premier League performances over the last two seasons on the Forbes website.

    “Last season Newcastle completed one of the worst season to season points drops in the history of the Premier League. The Toon finished 2011/12 in 5th place with 65 points from a +5 goal difference, which meant that they were going to have to make a number of changes in the close season or face a regression in points total and table position more in line with their goal difference. There was minimal player movement (Anita the only first team squad signing) into the club in the summer 2012 transfer window, the net sum of actions in the January 2013 window doing little to change Newcastle’s fate at the end of the season. They would finish the 2012/13 season with 24 less points, 11 places lower in the table, and a -23 goal difference as they avoided relegation by only five points.

    “Layout 1 While few would have predicted such a drop from one season to the next, there was little doubt that Newcastle’s points total had greatly outperformed their actual play on the pitch and the resultant goal difference in 2011/12. Historical data suggest teams that outperform their goal difference as Newcastle did (+10 points) often regress towards the mean next season.”

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/zachslaton/2013/09/30/manchester-united-or-tottenham-hotspur-who-is-more-likely-to-be-the-newcastle-united-of-201314/

    You have to scroll about half way down to get to the bits about Newcastle United but it’s better to read the whole thing really.

19. Worky, The Website are saying the article is unavailable.

20. It should work now, Joe.

21. I have never been to Everton away, But i have heard it’s a bit of a toilet, And the surrounding area is as rough as a badger’s a**e!

    I haven’t seen much of Everton thus far, And i have no gauge on what might happen tonight.
    I wouldn’t back Newcastle, But i wouldn’t back against them either.
    Although Martinez tends to get the upper hand against Parnocchio, Well lets be honest, Anyone can get the better of “The Silver Tongued Cavalier”.
    A four year old child could out think Pardew, In a Tactical Battle.
    I suppose you can give him “Man Points”, (I cannot believe i have just typed that Charver Bigg Market s**t),
    For being more attack minded.
    The problem with that being, We have more holes in our defence, Than Katie Price’s knickers!
    If we continue to be as open as we have been, You can only see a glut of goals for the opposition.

    I don’t know what he will try tonight, But it wouldn’t surprise me, If he reverts back to his tried, Tested & failed Pardew version of 4-4-2.

    We managed a 2-2 there last season, Can we repeat that again?, It’s not impossible, But you never know with Pardew, Having a bearing on proceedings.
    The way Debuchy & Santon bomb forward, We might as well try either, 5-3-2 or 3-5-2.

22. joe hawkins says:
    September 30, 2013 at 10:52 am

    “I have never been to Everton away, But i have heard it’s a bit of a toilet, And the surrounding area is as rough as a badger’s a**e!”

    Joe, I think the roughest area I’ve ever been to for a game was when I went to see a Miami Dolphins American football game once at the old Orange Bowl. The locals were all fenced in with barbed wire!

    joe hawkins says:
    September 30, 2013 at 10:52 am

    “I suppose you can give him “Man Points”, (I cannot believe i have just typed that Charver Bigg Market s**t),”

    Joe, sounds like lad’s mag shite to me, not that I ever read the things apart from the ones they’ve sent to me when they published my stuff.

23. Worky, First time i heard that monstrosity, Flowed from the mouth of that little Hobbit urchin, “Anthony Hutton”!
    I’ll give him his due though, He’s not a bad footballer.

24. Joe, Alan Hutton who used to play for Villa? I’ve never heard of Anthony Hutton.

25. i don’t know if it’s reassuring or very worrying that forbes’ website doesn’t know the difference between “less” and “fewer”.

    and worky, 8 ace is a yorkshire character I believe. brown bottle was another geordie character though also ratboy and kappa slappa (latterly tasha slappa).

26. stewpot says:
    September 30, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    “i don’t know if it’s reassuring or very worrying that forbes’ website doesn’t know the difference between “less” and “fewer”.”

    Y’knaa what these Yanks are like with the English language, Stewpot. They can’t even spell words like “colour” and “vigour” properly, let alone get their singles and plurals right. :-)

    I didn’t know that 8 Ace was from Yorkshire.

27. Worky, He’s one of those “Reality T.V” (stars)…
    He’s from Consett, I can’t remember what he was on, But he used to bang on about “Man Points”.
    He used to play for the so called celebrity team, That played against The Legends, In Sky One’s, “The Match”, Which St James’ Park was used for the venue.
    He’s not a bad little footballer, And i believe he played to quite a high standard, When he was young.
    He is one of your typical wannabe poser types, A la “Geordie Shore”, Who glows in the dark, Whilst wearing a tank top.

28. Viz was first produced in the North-East (still is I think) so it’s not surprising it has a lot of Geordie stereotypes.

    It is actually a very funny magazine and I used to enjoy reading it, lots of smutty humour but also some quite deep social comment as well.

    Milli-Tant and Modern Parents are were non Geordie absurd characters. The useful tips and hints page was brilliant and the whole magazine could be equated to a the writings of Edward Lear, almost!

    The Fat Slags was the authors poking fun at Geordie women but you could easily see the same stereotypes in any city centre on Friday nights.

29. Stewpot, I don’t know what’s happening with your comments being sent to moderation. Your IP wasn’t on a blacklist or anything.

30. @worky i just assumed it was because they a bit sweary.

    i interviewed chris donald (viz co-founder) for my dissertation. he was surprisingly flat and unenthusiastic but gave me some excellent insight and quotes.

    again grumpy, the fat slags were actually yorkshire characters but it’s true, you can see their sort in any pub or club in any town or city on any given weekend.

    one story, the drunken bakers, has been compared to samuel beckett and even its wikipedia entry is the funniest thing you’ll read today… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunken_Bakers

31. As is usual with the toon these days, we could either win, lose or draw tonight – depends if Pardews plan A actually works, obviously if it doesn’t we’re in for a defeat given that he has no plan B

32. I seem to remember a creation from the Viz team causing controversy, And it being all over the News, At the time.
    “Thieving G***y B*****ds”!, I wasn’t going to write the full moniker, As not to offend anyone.
    I have a bit of Romany in my heritage, On my mother’s side, And i’m not trying to offend anyone, I just remember it causing a bit of a storm, Along with The serial killer characters.
    It was either Peter & Fred, Or Harold & Fred, They make Ladies dead!

33. The classic artwork by William Hogarth, “Beer Street and Gin Lane” could almost be a Viz production of the era.

    There’s nowt new.

    Oh yes and football, how did that get into the blog!! :)

    Have a sneaky feeling we might just get a good result tonight. If the lads all play to their best they are good enough to beat anybody and as Tim said they were a little complacent against Hull. Still trying to get my head around that comment.

34. Grumpy, on the subject of Edward Lear, I once found one of his watercolours when I was a fine art dealer. It sold for a very pretty penny!

    On the subject of the Fat Slags, I used to like the little details, as I did with alot of Viz comic strips. I remember one where they were getting ready for a night out on the pull once, and one of them was smearing her legs from a huge tub of “purple leg blotch” cream. :lol: If they were Geordie lasses getting ready for a neet doon the Bigg market, it probably would have been a huge tub of bright orange fake tan!

35. Grumpyoldtoon, I think it is going to be one of those funny old nights, And there could be some controversy, I can feel it in the air!

36. @joe i remember the strip and the controversy.

    i think when you’re mixing satire with scatological humour in a fairly d.i.y. environment there will always be the odd dud or misjudgement.

    much like the pub landlord, a lot of the viz stories are reflective of society and not commentary of it. i liked the theiving g*psy b*astards but can see why it was perhaps a step too far.

37. I found the ‘thieving Gypsy bastards’ to be very ignorant and bigoted. For a start, it made the common mistake that everyone who works on fairgrounds are Romanies, which is not true. My parents and their parents were Travellers on the fairgrounds before they settled down and built up their businesses. They were certainly not Romanies and most them aren’t. Also they never stole anything in their lives.

    They made themselves look like really ignorant fuckwits with that one.

38. Worky

    Just watched the full Jim Jefferies video, funny !