A season in hell – Newcastle United season review

Posted on May 28th, 2013 | 130 Comments |

Alan Pardew on the sideline.
A ‘mare of a season for Pardew.
Dear readers, my review of Newcastle United’s season has now been published on Metro.co.uk site.

In it, I take a look at the highs (such as they were), the lows and where they might be room for improvements.

Hope you like it.

Newcastle United season review at Metro.co.uk.

NUFC Blog on Metro.co.uk.


NUFCBlog Author: workyticket workyticket has written 1093 articles on this blog.

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130 Responses

  1. Nothing to disagree with there, worky.

    Just passing the time until the axe falls on Pardew, myself.

  2. tunyc, but Pardew has said that that all levels of the club have learned from their mistakes of last season, don’t you believe him?

  3. Worky: did they have a word count? You could just have written “shite”.

    Also, wouldn’t the Swansea result have had greater repercussions for the Mackems the way things turned out? With a Swansea win, Wigan still would have needed another point. Momentum may have got them there but who knows.

    Now we will see what Martinez can do when he has a defence. Although he will probably lose his 2 best players to Man U. I think Baines is a Man U type player and will do well there.

  4. Have you noticed the great divide between the top seven and all the rest – only the top 7 have positive goal difference. I doubt if that has happened before and it is an indication of how important money is now (more than ever).

    It shows the top seven easily beating the mediocre and the bad and really only worrying about playing each other.

    I fear we will fall further behind unless Ashley dips into his pocket for 20 million + the proceeds from player sales. Considering the extra premiership money, that shouldn’t be a big stretch.

  5. GS says:
    May 28, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    “Worky: did they have a word count?”

    Around 500ish, GS. They don’t like grand “War and Peace” style blogs on there or my deep probes, just quick “coffee break” style ones.

  6. GS says:
    May 28, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    “Have you noticed the great divide between the top seven and all the rest – only the top 7 have positive goal difference. I doubt if that has happened before and it is an indication of how important money is now (more than ever).”

    GS, In financial terms it should be a top six of Manchester City, Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham and Liverpool who are ahead of the rest. Then, WE should be on a little island on our own in seventh, then clubs like Everton, the Mackems and so on down to Norwich and probably the promoted teams when they join us.

  7. Worky @6: I completely agree. Everton have overachieved. We have the fans to lift us and there is a massive gap in finances between us and the financial top 6.

    The problem now is that revenue for the bottom clubs with small fan bases and tiny stadiums will be almost as much as ours as most will come from TV.

    We have a head start because we arguably have the best squad outside the top 6, but will it be wasted on Pardew?

    Also, the taxpayer gift of a stadium to West Ham might help them out.

  8. On Pardew. He really has a chance if he changes his ways even a little. The Frenchies will be more settled and if we can only add another goalscorer…

    When people talk about how Ferguson “failed” early at Man U it is a joke. He was never below 13th and finished 2nd in one of his early years. He also took over a struggling team.

    Now, is Pardew really SO talentless? Probably :) Some people point to second season syndrome. We will see, has he ever escaped with his job after such a bad season? I don’t think so, so that theory may be tested. As you said Worky, don’t expect a phoenix.

  9. Also, the taxpayer gift of a stadium to West Ham might help them out.

    It isn’t quite a “gift,” GS, and we taxpayers over here paid for an Olympics, complete with it’s army of corrupt parasites, that wasn’t just a clever ruse to give West Ham a nice new football stadium.

    West Ham will have to put at least £15 million towards conversion costs and pay around £2.5 million per annum in rent. They will also have to share revenues from the stadium too according to Big Bad Boris.

  10. worky @ 2: if he tells me the sky’s blue, I’m going outside to check.

    GS @ 3: the review could have been merely a two word review which simply read: “shit sandwich”.

  11. Alreet Worky>

    You’d have to be a bit mental to think Pardews long-ball tactics would get us anywhere but relegated but I ask you a question: WILL he play long ball tactics again next season?

    Unless the man is a complete fool he will have realised that his tactics this season did not work at all. They were 1 dimensional, amateurish and downright embarrassing at times.

    Surely he will realise this summer that to really utilize the considerable talent we have already got and will add to (2 more strikers and 2 defenders plus a winger minimum surely?) that the way forward is to play FOOTBALL not hoofball.

    It neither suits his players, our support or actually WINS football games!

    I think (hope) he’ll at least attempt to play more attacking, fluid football next season.

    If he doesn’t NUFC is in big trouble and he’s out of a job. Simple as that.

    Ashley won’t gamble £60 million again.

    What do you lads and lasses ?think

  12. Bloody computer! That should have been lads and lasses think ? (not doubting the existence of ladies on here):D

  13. Worky @9: you know more being in London. Just compare to the 350-400 million Arsenal had to pay for Ashburton Grove. Do the Hammers get to sell their current ground?

    Whatever, it probably doesn’t matter. It gets my conspiracy antennae going when I see the Bongo brothers involved in a Government deal (I know it was the former Chairman who first broached the deal).

  14. GeordieDan says:
    May 28, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    “Alreet Worky>

    You’d have to be a bit mental to think Pardews long-ball tactics would get us anywhere but relegated but I ask you a question: WILL he play long ball tactics again next season?”

    Alreet Dan,

    I think I’ve studied the phenomenon of Pardew’s long balls closer than anyone and though he was the biggest long ball merchant in the League overall, he was bizarre, unpredictable and unlike any other manager (nut not in a good way).

    Sometimes the team would try to play in a more passing style but then he’d keep going back. It wasn’t genuine, he isn’t comfortable with it, it’s not what he knows. He was like a gadgie gannin’ through a mid life crisis who opens his shirt down to his midriff and throws on a big medallion if you know what I mean. Either that or the players kept having their own version of the Mutiny on the Bounty and he’d give them the hairdryer treatment at half time, just to make sure they threw the game away in the second half.

    I really don’t think he’s going to emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis as Alan Pardiola, and I really don’t think we’ll we where we should be right now, ie constantly challenging for Europe as we did successfully last season. As I’ve mentioned several times before, that was one of those “surprise package” seasons we’ve seen before from the likes of Peter Reid, Danny Wilson, Steve Coppell, Frank Clark, Dave Jones, George Burley or looking at Newcastle United, that great end of season run we had with Roeder, though I wouldn’t slaughter him for that second season as he had far worse injuries than the pathertic, prating Pardew ever had.

    Having written that, going back to 2008 (as far back as I could), Newcastle United have always been a bit of a freak, a fairly big team who who have had some fairly big players who try to play like a smaller team who are trying to even up the odds by hoofing the ball up in the air. Maybe it’s the club living up to all this “iconic number 9” business we get foisted with, ie hoof it to big Al and the hitmen who have followed in his footsteps. I don’t know. Pardew has taken it up several notches this season though and it’s hideous.

  15. Newcastle’s brand: it is weird but Man City and Chelsea have had 2 very entertaining “after-season” games in the USA probably trying to promote their brand. I know there are a lot of other games and tournaments in the pre-season.

    Meanwhile, we have a possible pre-season game against Blackpool. Who knows, and who is organizing our build up to a very important season?

    Something will happen and we will be in a last minute tournament and probably play Rangers. But, the fans don’t know what is going on and it seems like a missed opportunity to me.

    It also smacks of mis-management and amateurism on the part of the club. C’mon get it sorted so fans can make plans and we can promote our brand.

  16. Worky>

    Pardew has been shocking this season and my gut says he has been found out as a very mediocre manager (at best) with his tactics, substitutions, failure to understand what corners are, failure to buy a book on the offside rule for Cisse etc etc….

    I think you’re almost certainly right in that Pardew isn’t going to evolve in to some new “Special One” (well outside of his own ego anyway) and will probably fail badly as he flounders to get the best out of players with far more ability in their roles as he.

    But I do think he will try a more ‘go for it’ style this season. He be stupid not to as he’s nothing to lose that won’t be taken away from him anyway if he cocks up again.

    Either way I’m hoping (if I’m right) that we should see some more actual football being played and hopefully at worst (or best, depending on your viewpoint) we get a new manager who actually can get us playing the football these players are capable of.

  17. GS, nobody really wants an 80,000 seat athletics track after an Olympics (or 50-60,000 when it’s redone). However, Lord Coe and the Olympics chaps insisted on it having the abilty to stage Athletics meets with a track so first thing is it’s not just West Ham’s stadium.

    As you know, nothing makes a football stadium worse than a big running track around the pitch so they also had to reach a compromise with a complex and expensive arrangement to have retractable seating which will go over the track area for West Ham games.

    Put that together with the fact that there’s only one major East London team and that puts the power in the hands of anyone who wants to take the thing off their hands. Of course, Spurs had a go too as they’re a big team in a little stadium and they’ve had problems with the local council with their plans to build an Arsenal sized stadium in Tottenham. However, because of the reasons mentioned above, both sides were only interested in making it work if it was an offer they simply couldn’t refuse.

    Also, when there talks about Arsenal groundsharing Wembley, the best purpose built football stadium in the world with no running track and in North London, they preferred their Ashburton Grove dream.

  18. “The second (of course) was the considerably more prosaic 1-0 victory where Newcastle defeated the already relegated QPR”

    Fairly sure that one was 2-1 ;)

  19. maze202 says:
    May 28, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    “Fairly sure that one was 2-1”

    Of course it was maze, but I only realised I’d put that after one of the editors there went and published it. I can’t re-edit them on there once they are published.

    I did it early in the morning before I went to bed and I think I was thinking half about the QPR game, and half about that Fulham game where Cisse scored at the very end, which of course was another very important landmark on our road to survival.

    You’ve inspired me to make a little comment about it on the post itself now as there’s always the odd awkward bastard who notices every single little mistake! ;-)

    I was joking there of course, cheers for pointing it out, maze.

  20. It’s laughable Worky :lol: The board will never appoint a manager with a spine,it will always be a yes man that is simply a front to appease the fans and take orders.

    Dark days ahead.

  21. Aye SJT, but for the brainteaser of the day, can you spot what the world’s worst spin machine have done in their big poll this time to twist things around?

  22. That meant 56.3% voting positively for the manager??
    Is this the bit – I’m at work so had to skim read it :)

  23. Its not the Comical that gets me the press in general use the numbers game.Its how can people be so gullible when they soak up this tripe.

  24. The Journal’s recent survey in regard to Pardew, was laughable.
    Where did they find such support for him ?
    Talk about a slanted opinion, they should be embarrassed.
    Of course a sudden drop in readership could have it’s effect, that and a refusal of fans to buy the new shirts, advertising “A Loanshark Organization”.
    People don’t understand they have a certain power, by co-operating or not.
    Like the vote,
    But it’s my opinion, they don’t give a damn about who they advertise, only considering whether they like the color or design.
    Ah well , nothing changes.

  25. Chuck
    They have a saying for it on your side of the pond.”Never give a sucker an even break” and boy have we got our share of suckers.

  26. Another article has come to our attention.
    The recent drop in NUFC.s Brand value, from being twentieth in the world ranking of football clubs, down to a present thirtieth position and a drop in value four million quid.

    Not only that but falling behind Fcuking West Ham in value (yeah I know they have a big new stadium) and not that far ahead of sides like Villa , Fulham and our neighbors.

    What’s it about ?

    Well for one thing, does anyone believe our GM, is there as anything other than a lightening rod for Ashley, someone to deflect any criticism of Ashley.

    To believe this guy could possibly understand how to increase the brand name, is like asking him to explain Einstein’s theory of relativity in detail.

    Actually it’s neither Llambias or Pardew,s fault, they just found good gig’s, and probably believe they were hired because of their abilities, as opposed to filling roles cheaply and letting Ashley make all of the decisions.

    But this recent poor season and it’s result as far as NUFC’s value is concerned, should be a wake up call to Ashley, that to be run efficiently and profitably, clubs have to have either a GM/Director of football, who is knowledgeable in the industry, both as far as money and on the field management are concerned.

    While other clubs are presently travelling around the world promoting themselves, what are we doing? playing Blackpool? (how many shirts will we sell in Blackpool)
    Look folks, as long as Ashley makes all the decisions and hangs onto people like Pardew and Llambias, it will be more of the same.
    Ah well,plu ca change, plu c’est la meme chose!

  27. Nutmeg

    Yeah, the probability of that guy advertising WONGA, while trying to figure out how he’s gonna pay them back at an interest rate, that would embarrass even the Mafia. is absurd.

  28. I had enough of those polls yesterday, Why are The Chronicle going along with this s**t?
    There must be a lot of fans who work for the paper, So why would they be involved with this misinformation?
    What has someone like Lee Ryder got to gain by this non journalism?

  29. I’ve just took another quick look, More of this Flim Flam is being released.
    Apparently Ashley has the highest approval rate of any owner, In the Premiership.
    This is a right load of cobblers, Even by The Chronic’s standards.

  30. Whats with Shearer ?
    Actually believes Pardew should be given a chance.
    I aways thought he was a great goalscorer, but on a personal level, never liked the man.
    He’s proven to be a bit stolid and unimaginative as a pundit and his naivity in thinking he could manage, was unbelievable.
    In which case his recent backing of Pardew comes as no real surprise.

  31. Joe It’s called editorial control (the Journal)
    And slanted writing precedes even newspapers.
    I’m sure it’s a bit of “quid pro quo” face it, they need one another.

  32. Do they still print the old football final on Saturday evenings, The Chronicle that is ?

  33. On the Chronic’s poll: Who or what is to blame for Newcastle United’s slump in form this season? “Alan Pardew” or “Tactics.” You can vote for one of the other along with several other options, but not two or more at the same time. However many would say “what’s the ****ing difference?”

  34. Aye worky, A lot of people picked straight up on that crap, Pardew or tactics to blame?, Pardew has defied Physics and became two components of himself.
    These cnuts at The Chronic are becoming more pathetic, As the days pass.

    Worky, There maybe a bit of you scratch our back…
    But i have never seen The Chronicle as bad as this!

  35. Joe, that was just one, there are several scattered throughout the various stories they’ve done.

    As to why they do it, they would soon find themselves banished from the temple if they strayed off message, as Luke Edwards did. However, if they all went off message and they were all refused access, then the club would look awful.

    I don’t see the point of having access to the players though if all you get is Steven friggin’ Taylor gannin’ “Everything’s wonderful in the dressing room and Derek Llambias and Alan Pardew are the best leaders this club have ever had.” It’s just vacuous drivel, it isn’t journalism.

  36. @chuck33
    you claiming to know more about football than shearer now what a plank you are

  37. John Gibson has written a few less than complimentary columns recently. I think he must be about to retire and the Chronic let him do what he wants given his seniority.

  38. GS says:
    May 29, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    “John Gibson has written a few less than complimentary columns recently.”

    GS, whom and/or what did he criticise and why?

  39. Can someone please tell me why do people think that Andy Carroll not signing for West Ham means he wants to come to the Toon.Is it only me that has sussed that the longer he remains a Liverpool player the longer he picks up £90,000 a week.He will sgn for West Ham but very close to the end of the transfer window.Just a thought

  40. craigy boy chaddas says:
    May 29, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    “Is it only me that has sussed that the longer he remains a Liverpool player the longer he picks up £90,000 a week.He will sgn for West Ham but very close to the end of the transfer window.Just a thought”

    How do you know he’ll be paid less if he signs for West Ham, craigy boy?

    Come to think of it, how do you know that his wages are £90,000 per week? ;-)

  41. Andy Carroll’s wages are actually something like £65,000 per week + bonuses. Bearing in mind his career at Liverpool, it would be doubtful that he’s fulfilled the criteria to earn those bonuses anyway.

    I suppose the big question is why do so many of us believe complete strangers in newspapers whose who earn a living from being serial liars?

  42. worky @ 39:

    “It’s just vacuous drivel, it isn’t journalism.”

    It’s uncritical stenography in which journalists front for someone/thing else rather than investigating anything. It preserves access but as you know, wt, it saves a lot of time and effort. It is to this that virtually all journalism has devolved. Much more chilling when one considers fora other than sports. Which is another of the five sections of the contemporary “news” as I see it: police blotter, gossip, corporate and government stenography/propaganda, financial news and sports. I pretty much only read the sports, the wife takes the gossip and rest lines the birdcage…

  43. worky @ 46: reification. The “news” is, in abstract, an institution that exists only to inform people of events in the world and to present objective analysis thereof. People have that definition put to them by so many direct and also more subtle means, they overlook the reality that mainstream media often have interests not only different from those consuming it, but in fact at odds with them…

  44. tunyc, what is “objective analysis?” Does it exist? Does it exist even in the world of empirical science, never mind in the fourth estate?

    “Our job is to monitor the centres of power, to challenge authority, especially when they want to go to war, especially when they are going to kill people and tell lies to do it.” – Israeli journalist Amira Hass on what the job of a journalist should be.

  45. Of course objective analysis doesn’t exist in our reality and in any case journalism didn’t come to be because of a desire on the part of anyone for “objective analysis”. This all-points-of-view-are-theoretically-equal bullshit isn’t just vacuous and intellectually dishonest, it’s a cover for the mainstream media’s one-two punch of “nothing to see here, move along now” and “BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID!!!”…

  46. GS, I think Gibson is one of the few objective people, Left at the paper.
    If i was him, I would be watching my back, Because if he doesn’t say the right things, He may find himself pensioned off!

    The way The Chronicle is conducting itself, Comes across like a “Victor Kiam” situation, Involving Mike Ashley.
    “I love the paper so much, I bought it!”
    Well that’s probably not the case, But they way they are going, You would be forgiven for thinking, They have somehow been bought off!

  47. Joe, on the subject of Victor Kiam, I never understood his other famous quote, something like “even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward”

    No you’re not, you’re moving downwards, and falling on your face. If you were moving forwards, that would be even worse, as you’d be scraping your face on the floor. I’ve done that, it wasn’t very nice at all, and I certainly didn’t think it was a good thing to do at the time!

  48. sirjasontoon says:
    May 30, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    “The Blog gets a mention too from a chap called Andrew.”

    I had a look at that, SJT. It was our fellow gloom and doom merchant, “AndyMac”. :-)

  49. Worky, I’ve also had that dubious pleasure, Falling off a bus full of drink, Head first, And scraping all the skin off my nose, I’ve still got the scar lol.

  50. Joe: You are lucky you didn’t do that in the USA. I fell off me bike and it cost me $5,000.

    I got bills from the ambulance, the x-ray technician, the ER doctor, the follow up doctor, the next x-ray, the physio. I had insurance, but the deductible was $5,000.

    If you ever come over here make sure you have medical insurance.

  51. The strange thing about the Krankies was that that man had to think about f@cking his wife who was dressed as a school boy. That wouldn’t have been fandabadozi.

  52. GS, the Krankies’ real names are Ian and Janette Tough.

    “In December 2011, during an appearance on BBC Radio Scotland’s Stark Talk programme, Ian Tough revealed the couple had enjoyed a colourful sex life at the time when their profile was at its highest in the 1980s, admitting to episodes of ‘swinging’. He told the story of one amorous incident where the pair almost sailed off course to France in a small boat while partaking in a sex act.”


  53. Take it down @63. I clicked on it and my eyes are still burning. Nobody else should have to see that.

  54. Huh, bugger :( Change the subject, please. Who of all these players we are being linked with do you think we will get?

    I think we will lose one of Cabaye and Ben Arfa.

  55. Thing about Shearer when he talks about management is that he chose that ugly bastarrd to defer to when he was manager. Can you trust anything he says after that?

  56. Do you think Ed makes any money on his site – y’know just reposts of newsnow? Does he do it for the money?

    I saw NUFC.com saying the other day that they really don’t have jobs except their website and make a living from that. Good for them.

  57. GS says:
    May 30, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    “Do you think Ed makes any money on his site”

    If he wasn’t doing it for money GS, surely it would be a very different site? He even makes Mike Ashley look restrained when it comes to sticking a few ads up! :-)

    All those copy/paste blogs are so frequent, and many of them are so pointless, it must to just to serve up ads in a numbers game. So many of them seem to be so poorly targeted though.

  58. GS says:
    May 30, 2013 at 7:21 pm

    “Thing about Shearer when he talks about management is that he chose that ugly bastarrd to defer to when he was manager.”

    I seem to recall that I first noticed who was pulling the strings there when Shearer went with wing backs for one game, then I heard about the complaints from the players about too many ice baths (another Dowie thing), the tough discipline and so on… It was all pure Dowie.

  59. And…

    Have you noticed the Bale price has gone from 50 to 60 to 70 and now 80 million in about 3 days.

    Maybe we can do 60-70-80 pence for Shola. I mean, we have to give them 80 pence.

  60. And Dobbie still has a job in TV. I can’t believe how these failed coaches and managers still make a living talking about things they have failed at.

  61. Anyone watch the game yesterday ?
    Neither side looked good enough to get to the world cup, never mind having the faintest chance of winning it.
    What would the EPL look like without their imports if this is the best of Engerland and Ireland.
    It looked like something from decades ago.

  62. You mean Dowie, GS? Dobbie’s a player from the Championship.

    If you mean Dowie, you aren’t going to see the likes of Alex Ferguson spending his retirement driving up and down the country commenting on League One games, or Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola renouncing management to comment on Crewe.

    The regular Match of the Day pundits do get paid more than quite a few Premiership managers, though I did hear that Gary Lineker had to take a £500,000 per year pay cut when he was negotiating his last contract renewal. He has his crisp adverts and other stuff though.

  63. I mean Dobbie, from Harry Potter.

    Sorry you didn’t get MY connection.

    I am so furkin’ pissed off with NUFC keeping Pardew I could go all AndyMac.

  64. GS says:
    May 30, 2013 at 8:58 pm

    “I mean Dobbie, from Harry Potter.”

    I’m sorry GS, I don’t really know much about shit stuff like that.

  65. chuck says:
    May 30, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    “Anyone watch the game yesterday ?

    I forgot that it was on last night, Chuck, and you’ve just me right off watching a recording of it.

  66. So you mean I do know about sh@t? :) I don’t have kids but I have nephews and nieces who drag me along. I am nice that way.

  67. The game was OK. Shane McGowan played OK on the intros and that McClean Me-Dust-Bins wasn’t that bad.

    The England goalkeeper was so crap he should get another jab-as-a-Scotsman. Rob Shite…

  68. I’ve just read a brief report of the England game and it sounded a bit like Pardew’s Noocarssel, so that’s put me off watching it even more.

  69. toonarmylite

    @ 40#
    Is that a question ?
    If it is I don’t remember any statement, where I said I knew more than Shearer, about football.
    What I said was , he’s a bit stolid and unimaginative as a pundit.
    Not unlike his managerial style.
    I often wonder why Ex players are for the most part, given the job as pundits, even when known to be not suited for the role and are there only for a having a history of scoring goals.

  70. If Rob Green is the second best England goalkeeper then we should have 3 South African’s playing for the English Cricket team. Oh…

  71. England are shit, but are ranked 7th in the world. See how even Bobby Robson was trashed.

    From Wikipedia:

    “ROBSON became the third-longest serving manager and the most successful after Ramsey, but only after being pilloried by both press and public.

    He began badly, dropping Keegan from the first squad in an unsuccessful qualifying campaign for the 1984 European Championship which included losing at home to an unheralded Danish team. The recovery began in Rio de Janeiro, where John Barnes sparked England’s only victory over Brazil in South America, the first in 12 attempts.

    England initially stuttered at the 1986 World Cup but a 3-0 win over Poland carried them into the knock-out stage where they were defeated by Maradona’s “Hand of God” goal.

    After losing all three matches at the 1988 European Championship, England qualified for the 1990 World Cup, where they lost a titanic semi-final on penalties to Germany. Robson, who had been informed beforehand that his contract would not be renewed, departed with honour to win a series of club titles in Europe.”

    Worky: didn’t that Danish team turn out to be OK?

  72. Denmark reached the semi final in ’84, GS. They drew with Spain and only lost on penalties in that. They had some decent players such as a young Michael Laudrup and Chuck’s favourite, Allan Simonsen.

  73. I seem to recall they had a young Jan Molby too, though Laudrup was the youngest bairn of the side. Frank Arnesen was another player they had too, now famous as a top Director of Football at PSV, Tottenham, Chelsea and Hamburger.

  74. That’s why Cloughie never got the England job, He was too honest for the Lancaster Gate Mob.
    He wiped the floor with Don Revie, In that conversation, He was bang on, Leeds Utd were one set of dirty cnuts!

    I remember Kevin Keegan running after Billy Bremner, To deck him, I think it was The Charity Shield Match.
    Any one remember Franny Lee with his big pair of breasts swinging, Along with his windmill attempt, To try and set about Norman Hunter, After Norman nearly sparked him out?

    That’s the difference for me though, I would take an honest manager like Cloughie, Every day of the week, Over a Yes Man, Minus the Vodka and Orange though!

  75. I think people will opt for flight tickets to Gaza, Because it will probably be safer, Than going to see him lol.

  76. Tiote off to Russia…can’t say I am even slightly bothered hopefully we can replace him with a cheap french teenager :lol:

  77. 50 quid. I will give it a miss. I went to Jerusalem (near Gaza) 25 years ago and that was strange – they closed all of their shops because of an “intifada”. It didn’t make any sense that their religion told them that they couldn’t sell tourist trinkets, but they had to close after 12pm or get fire bombed or something.

    That was about the point where I realized that religion wasn’t only stupid but could be dangerous to me personally.

  78. Headline of the day in Newsnow:

    “function printResponse(response) { if ( response.errorCode == 0 ) { if ( null!=response.comments && response.comments.length>0)” – Dundee Evening Telegraph, Scotland 13:16

  79. GS says:
    May 31, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    “That was about the point where I realized that religion wasn’t only stupid but could be dangerous to me personally.”

    It’s not about religion, GS, it’s about stealing someone’s country piece by piece and making the population live in a concentration camp.

  80. Worky @95: no, it was about religion.

    But, @94 we will see a repost of that on Ed’s blog in the next 20 minutes.

  81. URRGGGHHH: I just had a flashback of eating one of those hotdogs when coming out of the match.

  82. Suarez off then. Just need Bale gone from Tottenham then those one man teams wont do as well.

    Any decent transfer news for us yet? I have not heard of a peep apart from Anzi wanting Cisse.

  83. Worky @101: Jerusalem. Then I was driven around the whole area by an Armenian priest (including Gaza, West bank etc.). My ex-father-in-law was educated in the Armenian Church in Jerusalem and I visited there with him.

  84. GS says:
    May 31, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    “What? I thought you brought up Gaza? F#ck off.”

    You were the one who brought up religion, GS, so there’s no need to resort to abuse when I merely asked you a simple question.

  85. Sorry then. I misunderstood what you were saying. Internet :)

    It is good that we can work things out in minutes.

    Imagine if we were penpals:)

  86. Or Troy, or Rodzilla. I would have to furking kill myself before talking to them.

  87. Appears that rumors of Cisse and Tiote, going could very well be true.
    After all Cisse had a poor season, most will say and his first season may have been a flash in he pan.
    To which I say, nonsense, he is a decent poacher, but only if he is supplied, which just didn’t happen.
    Pardew having him wasted up front all alone for most of the season.
    Now Tiote is someone I have criticized from day one, for both his distribution and lack of scoring ability.
    Not to mention the fact everyone he tackles has to end up in the stands, when either redirecting or simply winning the ball would suffice.
    Plus the fact, there’s been no real improvement, whether that’s due to lack of coaching, or that’s just his game, who knows, but Essien he aint!
    Actually I believe young Bigiramana, will be a better player over time.

    Hopefully we can put in a bid for Douglas, as we really need a decent CD who can fix Pardews complaint of no one on set pieces over six foot and can play a physical game.
    I was sorry to see Simpson go, a dumb move as far as I can see, a much improved player who never complained and played an honest game, stupid IMO!
    So guess we can switch Santon between the full back spots,plus I think young Haidara has a good future.
    I think young Ferguson should be given a shot on the wing, as he is the only natural winger in the side, another kid who is steadily improving.
    If we don’t play Anita, then FFS sell him, I really don’t see him making it, we should have put a few quid more into the pot and bought Celtics Wanyama, who is a presence and will now only go to a big club.
    I always thought we should have bought Shane Long, who went for less than Anita, his goal against England was typical, a really hard working behind the striker player.
    Pickings from the relegated sides, I would take young McCarthy from Wigan in a heartbeat, great engine room, unlike Cabaye who is off and on.
    Then their is both Remy and Hoilett, who are looking to get back to the PL and Scot Sinclair at Citeh, who may become surplus with a new manager.
    These are all proven players, but wouldn’t come cheap.
    In which case obviously Ashley will no doubt look at cheaper alternatives in the French league.
    Of which we could lose HBA to the Russian Oligarch presently spending a fortune on rejuvenating a recently promoted Monaco.
    Which may not be a bad thing, as he is no doubt an entertaining player but a bit of a sick note.
    Though it may sound like herecy on this blog, I would also be willing to sell Cabaye, if we could get McCarthy to replace him.

  88. A lot of people think Anita could be OK. We haven’t played him enough to see one way or the other. Do you trust Pardew to judge his worth?

  89. I mean, do you trust Pardew to judge anybody’s worth? You said before Chuckles that Santon is a right midfielder and I am inclined to agree with you. He’s almost as ugly as Bale.

  90. Now Bale has decided he has to touch his hair all the time :) Who does he think he is? Joey Barton?

  91. It’s a shame Gareth Bale got his ears done, Where’s he going to keep his chewing gum now?

  92. Aye Joe, you dont see as many “wingnuts” as you used to. I think they invented something which made the procedure of pinning them back easier then they all started to disappear from the streets.

  93. Hell bring him back to Newcastle, put a bit of bite into the side.
    Joey is not only amusing in a certain way (Sociopathic)but he would be and no doubt was Pardews worst nightmare.
    His first order of business was to get Nolan and Joey out the door as soon as possible.
    He copped a plea on Carroll, but i’m sure he didn’t lose any sleep over his going either.

    Now there remains to be seen who we may lose during this window, Cisse has been mentioned and it appears twenty million would get him, perhaps less, but after the Carroll fiasco, Ashley I think, believes he can walk on water and demand what he wants.
    Then there’s HBA, who is rumored to be in the sights of the other big spender, the Russian at Monaco (tax free Monaco)
    Hell I would take fifteen for him, I know the guys an entertainer and if he remains fit, would be an asset, but I doubt if he can.
    As for Cabaye, inconsistency has been a problem, I would take a straight trade for a younger and IMO better engine-room player like McCarthy.
    Who it’s rumored may be heading to Spurs, to replace Parker (injury prone).

    Then theres Tiote, anything over seven would be a deal,as he just doesn’t seem to improve, Bigiramana will be a better player in any case, soon enough.

    I think there may also be pressure to return to Italy for Sansom, a much improved player this seaso, now that he’s been given an opportunity to start.

  94. chuck says:
    May 31, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    “Joey is not only amusing in a certain way (Sociopathic)but he would be and no doubt was Pardews worst nightmare.
    His first order of business was to get Nolan and Joey out the door as soon as possible.
    He copped a plea on Carroll, but i’m sure he didn’t lose any sleep over his going either.”

    Chuck, Barton always used to get on well with Pardew, or at least he said he did on more than one occaision. I think all that stuff with Barton, Nolan, Harper etc was more to do with Ashley and Llambias than it was with Pardew.

    chuck says:
    May 31, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    “I think there may also be pressure to return to Italy for Sansom,”

    Chuck, Kenny Sansom hasn’t played for Newcastle since the late eighties and he retired from playing a long while ago. :-)

  95. I always felt short changed with Kenny Sansom, When he played for us, He never had the tash.
    I also remember fat John Bailey who we signed from Everton, Around the same time.

  96. So…

    Me girlfriend went oot the neet (I tried to tell her her name was “wor lass” but she had no clue what I was on about}.

  97. Worky

    You really believe that ?
    That Joey got on well with Pardew ?
    Listen, Joey was a streetwise guy who would have sussed Pardew in a NY second, as would Nolan.
    They knew their time was limited, but also knew how to play the game, if that’s what you mean by getting along.
    Ashley had got rid of Hughton, not because he wanted a bigger name.
    It was about icentives as far as money was concerned.
    And both Joey and Nolan were both leaders (big mouth scoucers) in the dressing room, who refused the deal.
    In which case Ashley fingered them and told rent a manager to get rid of them.
    That’s what happened, as far as Hughton was concerned all he had to do was say, your outta here, which he got rent a GM to do, this guy is a cold fish.

  98. Worky, John Bailey was always fat, He looked like a s**t version of “Roy (Chubby) Brown”.

  99. joe hawkins says:
    June 1, 2013 at 10:52 am

    “Worky, John Bailey was always fat”

    I think it was GS who was asking how much of a lard bucket he was, Joe.

  100. chuck says:
    June 1, 2013 at 3:23 am

    “In which case Ashley fingered them”

    That isn’t something I’d ever try to do to Joey Barton, Chuck.

  101. Worky

    You have obviously missed out on Damon Runyon and his mixed vernacular, what’s become known as Runyonese.