PonToon – Newcastle’s official 2011/2012 squad

Posted on September 4th, 2011 | 39 Comments |

Newcastle United's official 21-man squad for 2011/2012.
21 - but who's our ace?
Newcastle United names a 21-man squad for official notification to the Premier League.

Newcastle United have named a 21-man ‘official’ squad for the season, as required by the Premier League. Rules state that up to 17 of the squad can be anybody (although preferably a footballer), whilst the remainder – up to a maximum of 25 players in total – must match so-called ‘home-grown’ criteria. Players under the age of 21 can be played anywhere and anyhow and do not need to be included in the list passed to the Premier League.

Our list for this season is as follows:

Goalkeepers: Harper, Krul & Elliot.

Defenders: Coloccini, Perch, Simpson, Saylor & Williamson.

Midfielders: Ben Arfa, Cabaye, Guthrie, Gutierrez, Marveaux, Obertan, Raylor, Smith & Tiote.

Strikers: ShAmeobi, Ba, Best & Lovenkrands.

However, we can additionally use any under-21’s (specifically, they must have been under 21 on 1st January 2011) for ‘free’, which includes the likes of: Santon, Abeid, Vuckic, Ferguson, Gosling, Ranger and Sammyobi.

To be honest I can only see Alan Smith playing a bit part this season, although I’m not entirely sure which bit or which part. But it will be interesting to see if a ‘preferred’ midfield emerges, particularly when Ben Arfa returns from injury. We have no less than 13 midfielders competing for 5 places at the most.

Then again, if our injury record continues in the vein of previous seasons we might need them. We’ve only played pre-season and 4 games and our 21 listed players is down to 17 through injury.

With a bit of luck Ameobi and Harper should be back in time for our trip to QPR next weekend but we could have to wait 4 and 6 weeks respectively for Ben Arfa and Williamson.

And now for a story …

Let’s say I need a new car. I want something young, reliable and capable of going on for a decent spell without breaking down. So I go along to a car dealer and spot a nice two year-old Beemer priced at £20k. Okay, so it’s not an Aston, but neither is a it a clapped out 2CV. So I go up to the car dealer and say “Hello chief,” for he was once a Red Indian, “surely you can do me a better price than £20k.”

So we haggle a bit and I get him down to £19,800. But here’s the thing: I am of the opinion that cars simply cost too much in general. I have decided that this Beemer is only worth £12k, regardless of what the market says, and I unilaterally take it upon myself to correct the overinflated car prices in the market. I stubbornly stick to my £12k offer and refuse to budge, so of course the car dealer eventually tells me to sling my hook and gets mechanics Bob and Jerry to rough me up a little on the way out for my cheek.

Never mind, I stuck to my principles, eh?.

Ah, wait a minute though. I now have to walk to work or catch what laughably falls under the guise of public transport here in the sticks. My kids have to walk to school. Barefoot, because I happen to think shoes are overpriced too. My wife upped sticks and ran off with the postman even though I told her I did try to buy a car, my sheep died of mange, my left leg fell off and my house was swallowed up by a passing black hole.

Woe is me and woeful am I. Perhaps I’ll have another crack at that car in January.

NUFCBlog Author: Hugh de Payen I'm a baby-boomer of the punk rock persuasion, currently exiled in Somerset for crimes committed in a previous life where locals keep trying to poison me with something called 'scrumpy'. Hates sprouts, coat-hangers, Cilla Black, ornaments, Steven Seagull movies and 50 Cent (he's not worth 10). Hugh de Payen has written 634 articles on this blog.

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39 Responses

  1. However Hugh, if u couldnt wait till Jan then perhaps your neighbour may lend you his daughters pink tricycle, with the option to buy in the future…

    …the tranfer loan window opens next week (not sure what day?) and stays open for a ….week/month??

    So could Macheda be a likely toon arrival?*

    *i’m not sure what he’d actually “add” mind….

    **Is Tavernier on loan at gateshead for just one month? And then he returns to the squad as our only fit CB cover, and under 21?

  2. …oh, apparently the transfer window is only for Champs and below, but could mean we see Ranger loaned out to Birm…

  3. Good article Hugh…..sums up our lot perfectly….

    Where does this leave the Man City PL squad, don’t they have about 120 players on there books…or so it seems…!

  4. We can’t really judge the value of some of the foreign CFs we were linked with – good statistics don’t allways mean good PL performance and only their best goals appear on utube. And often only our scouts seem ever to have heard of them.
    If they are very good they are priced £17m+ which appears more than we would pay for a whole team. Of course every team in the world knows we “have” the AC £35m to “spend” on a replacement so bargaining will start high – although they may now know we are too “careful” to spend it, which is not a bad thing.

    It would help if we knew our true budget which appears to be £8 absolutely max! Which obviously will not get us the best – so targetting players valued at over £8m was a complete waste of time & effort and will be again in the next window.

    At a max of £8 we could have got Long and nobody better – that is a fact of life.

    And on the last day we could have got Bentner on loan -BBC showed his goal that creamed Saylor and put us out of the c.cup – not good enough for us on loan? In fact we ballsed it up on all fronts, no long term signing (eg Long) and no short term loan (eg Bendtner)! We would have had change out of £8 for that pair – if we knew what we were doing that is.

  5. Interesting theories coming out of TF regarding the squad size.

    “The truth is, we were never seriously looking for a striker or a replacement for Barton or a central defender to replace Sol Campbell. The club is operating a policy of one in, one out and has a clear unspoken strategy of carrying a small squad where wages are being pressed downwards.

    Take the striker department. In the summer, United gave Shola Ameobi a new contract. That said everything. The club was said to be happy to release Nile Ranger and Leon Best. There had been rumours Peter Lovenkrands was set for a return to Rangers, though that was probably kyboshed by their loss of income following their early nose-dive out of Europe. Ranger looked for a while like he was set for Blackpool but that didn’t happen because of The Tangerines’ failure to match his wages. Then, without much fanfare, Pardew announced the story to release Leon Best wasn’t true and he was going nowhere. So then, without any striker leaving the club (other than Carroll last January for whom Demba Ba took his place), Ashley was never going to authorise the purchase of a new striker with none leaving the club. Some of you can believe the “protracted and complex negotiations” line but for me, it was as simple as that. No-one out = none-one in”

    The problem with the squad is not neccesarily the size but the quality. No BPL team apart from us would contemplate having Smith (on his wages), Perch or Lovenkrands in their 25 or even 21 man squad so wtf do we ?

    If Smith had been replaced by Matuidi, Perch by Anyone who can stay on their feet without getting booked and Lovenkrands by Long then I think we could accept a small squad. However they would have cost both in tranfers fees and also wages :(

  6. Good midfield, good starting defence, mediocre strike force, decent goalies. The Defence however is tiny, where the arse is Kadar? I’d rather see him given a chance than Perch.

    The good news is that we have a canny few young lads who are good enough to be first team or fringe players i.e. Sammy, Vuckic, Santone, Donaldson.

    I love the guy that said it was a championsip team though ha. As if you would get players like Cabaye, Ben Arfa, Tiote and Obertan in the Championship. Come on guys I know we needed a good striker and cover for left back and centre back but the first team when fit is pretty good, top ten material for sure.

  7. AndyMac says:
    September 4, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    “Some of you can believe the “protracted and complex negotiations” line”

    I do Andy. When you’re bidding cheap on players in the hope of picking some bargain livestock, possibly to be sold for profit once they’ve been in the Premiership shop window for a while, then negotiations are always going to more “protracted and complex” then when you’re trying to pick up a player at a fair price.

  8. “Some of you can believe the “protracted and complex negotiations” line”.

    That’s Ashley speak for trying to play hard ball. I reckon the right fee and the right wages will be paid for the right players.

    If so many clubs were bidding for Cisse, why is he still at Freiburg ?
    If Pieters is a wanted Dutch left back why is he still in the cloggy league ?
    If the Souchaux lad is as good as he thinks himself why is he still at Souchaux ?
    If Joey Barton is one of the best players in the PL why is he at those London giants QPR.

    Work it out, “complex negotiations” …

  9. Workyticket@15. You must have some serious inside knowledge if you know what a “fair price” is for the Toon targets, and of course what the Toon actually bid for the players in question, if they bid of course.

    You’re wasted here running this blog mate…

  10. If Colo or Taylor get injured or suspended we are in the clart. If they both do we are in the shite.

  11. Hugh de Payen says:
    September 4, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    “Now that’s put me off my tea.”

    Would have been even better if Llambias was in there doing the same thing Hugh.

  12. workyticket says: “Hugh, I was thinking of using it to make a new header image for the site. What do you think?”

    Good idea. I notice Ashley doesn’t feature amongst the ‘greats’ in our current header.

  13. Hugh de Payen says:
    September 4, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    “Didn’t he once do a stint at SJP? Lost bet or some such.”

    Aye Hugh. A Llambias streak across SJP, so they said.

  14. workyticket says:

    “AndyMac says:
    Some of you can believe the “protracted and complex negotiations” line”

    I do Andy. When you’re bidding cheap on players in the hope of picking some bargain livestock, possibly to be sold for profit once they’ve been in the Premiership shop window for a while, then negotiations are always going to more “protracted and complex” then when you’re trying to pick up a player at a fair price”

    I dont disagree that Fatman tries to pick up players on the cheap WT but I also believe that Santon was brought in because there was no other left back at the club.

    Whereas Fatman and Droopy probably felt that with 4/5/6 forwards already at the club (if you include HBA and Sammy as forwards ?) there was enough “cover” just as they did in January. So we could do with getting shot of Lovenkrands in the next window for all sorts of reasons :)

    Also got to bear in mind that whatever the size of the squad is now – it could be three players less in January as both Senegal and Ivory Coast have qualified for ACoN and Shola may feck off if selected for Nigeria :(

  15. AndyMac …Gashley and Droopy haven’t probably taken the ACoN into account….Tiote, Ba, Shola all outahere in Jan…

    (Who’s the third player by the way….taking Shola out of the equation ?)….

  16. Remember when there used to be a match at the weekend?
    And we discussed it afterwards?
    What happened?

  17. I see the Scots are thinking about playing the season in summer.
    Could we be in both leagues?
    I recon we’d win the SPL by a mile!


  18. Worky…Shola the makkem slayer….! If Nigeria are daft enough to pick him then he should be allowed to have his holidays paid for.

    A real honour for the lad at the twighlight of his career, there are loads of blokes playing for dodgy teams. FFS Özil, Lucas Podolski, Miro Klose, the Boateng brothers, Piotr Trackowski, all could have played elsewhere but chose to play for the German eagle…

  19. Car dealer analogy is genius, but totally true – we will never get anywhere in the market using the Sports Direct school of purchasing….

  20. what the hell has old bmws got to do with football?????and tavernier is on loan to carlisle not gateshead….im off… had enough..back to boxing good luck in the nufc world people…blood hell u lot must be boared