“Rick Parkinson” reveals himself as Mackem WUM.

Posted on June 13th, 2009 | 19 Comments |

Unwashed tramp, Richard Parker yesterday.
Unwashed tramp, Richard Parker yesterday.
“Rick Parkinson”, who issued a press release declaring an interest in bidding for Newcastle United has now revealed himself as Sunderland supporter, Richard Parker. The unwashed tramp from Wearside cruelly posed as a £250 million textile baron and offshore investor from Ponteland, and declared an interest in buying the club for £90 million. He went on to declare his intentions to turn Newcastle United into a fan’s trust and reinstall Alan Shearer as manager with a £30 million transfer kitty.

Speaking about the evil hoax, he said:

“We haven’t had a great deal to shout about in the last 16 years or so at Sunderland, but this summer has, without doubt, made up for all those years of hurt. Newcastle’s plight, as difficult as it is for their fans, is music to our ears.”

“We could easily have gone down on the final day as well, but that makes it all the funnier for Sunderland fans and nobody can really blame us for milking it for as long as we possibly can.”

“I remember a demoralising 4-1 defeat at home by Newcastle about three years ago, when their fans came to the Stadium of Light and taunted us on our own patch. We would have done the same had it been the other way round and, likewise, they would have taunted us had we gone down last season and they’d stayed up.”

“We’re only doing what they would have done, and have done for a good few years.”

This certainly won’t be the last attempt by the unwashed hordes to wind up the Geordie faithful.

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Comment on this post

19 Responses

  7. Surely the last laugh is on us, he won’t be able to show his face outside of weirdside again. Fancy being incarcerated there for the rest of your days. Pathetic t*sser!

  8. 52times says:
    June 13, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    “Isn’t a fatwa just the name for an Islamic Law? How about an Intifada?”

    Sort of 52. It’s an opinion by a senior Muslim cleric, roughly. In Shia Islam, it can be an “official” declaration, like Salman Rushdie and his death threat. However in Sunni Islam, it’s just a very highly repected opinion.

  9. geordie deb says:
    June 13, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    “Fancy being incarcerated there for the rest of your days.”

    The thought of that made me shudder, Deb!

    To be fair though (just temporarily like), we would have been just as bad!!!

  11. I don’t really condone violence but if he gets recognised and gets a good hiding, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

  12. bit of help…i speak Arabic!!
    fatwa simply mean ‘ruling’ but is used most commonly in accordance with shariah law, ie, is commonly thought of in an Islamic sense.
    Secondly intifada simply mean ‘uprising’, most commonly used in relation to the Palestinian (Arab) Israeli wars of 48 and 67.
    Bit of useless information about Arabic though for the future, it is very hard for it to be literally translated into English. You can have nouns such as house which can be done simply of course, but for terms such as these you will have severally different definitions – a lot of the time based around their own agenda!!

  13. This Mackem WUM made me think of the story of a couple of Toon fans working on construction of the SOL burying a Newcastle shirt under the centre circle before their new pitch was laid? Was it true or just a fallacy?

  14. we will have the last laugh. they all think Bruce will get them into Europe etc but im not convinced. if he does not get off to a good start lets see how they feel about a geordie manager then…

  15. geordie deb says:
    June 13, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    “This Mackem WUM made me think of the story of a couple of Toon fans working on construction of the SOL burying a Newcastle shirt under the centre circle before their new pitch was laid? Was it true or just a fallacy?”

    I heard about that too Deb. Divven’t knaa if it’s true or just a fairy story though.

  16. Rumours abound that rival fans do that in each other’s grounds whenever there is major development. Stadium of Plight and SinJames’ are no different. Hard to be sure if there’s any truth in them but it’s not so far-fetched that they couldn’t have?

  17. For his five minutes of fame, Rick Parkinson will rue the day he heaped more shame and embarrasement on our club. He may be the toast of the great unwashed but I’m sure we will have our revenge in one way or another. The first would be a sweet coincidence if a geordie got them releagted next year. Made me remember the outcry when Lee Clarke, who was playing for them at the time, accidentally exposed the TShirt taking the mickey out of them when he was at the ’99 cup final

  18. “intentions turn Newcastle United into a fan’s trust and reinstall Alan Shearer as manager with a £30 million transfer kitty”. Lol